Storm

This year has begun with a lot of resentment and bitterness. I cannot pin point it, but I seem to not be able to control my attitude. I need space...a lot of it.

I somewhat regret setting up a party for my BDay because I am unsure if I have any real friends at this point. A room full of random "friends." I have no idea who I can trust and who is just using me. I know..its not that deep..but something in me feels like it is.

I feel very trapped and disconnected. One minute Im fine and the next Im just angry as hell at the smallest thing and I really just want to go off and break shit and cuss people out. I have never felt such intense feelings. Im trying to understand where it is coming from because this isnt healthy for me.

It keeps me up at night and I wake up with headaches.

I don't want to go to work but I don't want to stay home either.

I feel like I don't even know myself...

..but I will be fine.

I promise.

It Ends and it Begins

This year, I will not be as nice and I will not be used by the people who are supposed to be my friends. I may not have as many friends after this year, but if I do.,it may not be the ones I have now...and I am ok with that.

If you eat all of the cookies at once, you have none left for later.