Black Wednesday

Today, my job axed around 70% of the people in my department. Some of these people I have been working with since the day I started my training (3 years ago). I work a lot and I also have been known to do a lot of over time as well, so these people were pretty close to being my family.
In the morning, before I left my house, I got a call from a coworker telling me that a whole department was laid off and that she heard 50% of us were going to be let go as well. I instantly felt sick. She also told me that there were police in the parking lot and extra security in the building. This is all too familiar to me because I have made it thru one corporate downsize already.

On my train ride to work, my mind was racing but I don't even remember what I was thinking about. When I walked in the building I saw some coworkers and I kind of put my head down. I was asked if I was ok, and I said I was fine...just tired. The day felt weird and I could hardly get any work done. I start at 12pm so by the time I got there, people had already been getting "vibes." There was an odd number of managers from other office locations roaming around our floor. Something was shifting and you could feel it.

At around 1:50ish, some managers started walking around and telling everybody to check their emails, while other managers quietly lined up at the exits. I checked my email but I had nothing. I asked some of the people around me and they didn't have any new emails. But there was a new email for many other people.

HR sent an email to the people who were getting laid off(all at once) to attend a 2pm meeting. From what I was told, the email stated that the meeting at 2pm is mandatory and that you shoud collect your personal belongings because you will not be allowed to come back to your desk. We all knew what the meeting was for because people in other departments were being laid off in front of us. As the message suggested, the meeting was to let those individuals know that they have been let go. So when that email hit..it was like a kick in the stomach. People were frantic and asking each other "Did you get an email!? Did you get an email!?" The question moved thru the room like a wave.

You could taste the fear in the air. It was one of the most intense moments of my life.

Sudenly, a heartfelt email was sent to the department from a coworker who had recieved the email and others followed suit with quick goodbyes and personal contact info. Each email recieved was like a bomb and once it sank in, there were many tears and hugs and just so much fear. We all work in one big room so you got to see everybody's reaction. It was heart wrenching to say the least. One of my coworkers came to my desk and broke down and told me that she tried to do her best..I then broke down too. It was just a lot. All of this happened in a span of 5 to maybe 10 minutes.

The managers stood by and kind of ushered people towards the auditorium. Then they were gone..and only a few of us were left with this loud silence.

I am very lucky to have been chosen to keep my job and to be apart of a new direction...but it is such a bitter sweet feeling.

=/