I wrote this on the train...

It falls apart and picks itself up. Over and over like an unforgettable melody that traps itself in my subconscious. I own my heart, but it bears ur reflection. These days are fine now and I'm growing but ur eyes hold so many secrets and yet... I can see right thru to ur self inflicted wounds. No more accusing because we are both to blame and we will never be the same. But I love you baby, and I always will.

Open

Sexy like the meaning and intelligent like a bulb is bright
Erotically addictive thru verbal spells
I self destruct thru mental orgasms as I take apart your being and I feel my flesh soften during our conversations
Part narcissism but all genuine
I look at the floor and I know...I know that this is true
I am falling forward
Its been a long time coming
You are not mine
But I am now mine again
Thru experiences, whether they be forced by physical intoxication
I am falling into me
Not to be held by my own heavy heart but to be freed by my sudden attraction and the realization that I am a man who loves a lot and will love even more

In My Heart

This is an exerpt from my heart. I wrote this in a matter of moments....

"...quietly while you were asleep, I kissed your face and the world stopped spinning.
I ran a marathon in my brain trying to figure out what fate has in store for us.
My kiss traveled to your neck as I embraced you...and I melted into your
pretty brown skin. I lived a lifetime in our embrace and I have never let go. Like a shooting star with no landing in site, my heart..my soul... travels thru the sky for you."

After writing this little piece I had to ask myself?

"How many times must I die?"

"Is this ever going to change?"

Today, was a rough day and I am raw with emotion. I don't care to explain why because its just too painful to share anymore. You dont always have to take a step back to fall into unresolved resentment and emotional vulnerability.

Time will heal me, and that I am greatful for, because everyday is new. With every new day I am a step closer to where I am supposed to be, mentally, spiritually and physically.

Baby steps.