Love over The Manhattan Bridge.

There is a fella out there that I have always carried in my heart. I carried him even throughout my last relationship. Now..as I have stated many times before, I was seriously in love and believed that I was with the man I would spend the rest of my life with..regardless of the problems we encountered. But every now and then I would question myself because I just could not shake off these feelings for this particular person. The feelings were never strong enough to make me get up and leave because I don’t follow my heart if I believe its pointless. Lets face it, our hearts can get us into a lot of problems. Especially when you have a big heart like I do..lol. I promise you that its in me! =P

I mentioned him in a blog recently and when I wrote it I was blown away at the fact that I could still feel that way after all of these years. Its been close to 6 years to be exact. Aesthetically he is the best looking man I have had the pleasure to be intimate with and when it comes to conversing he is on the same level as me. We can talk about anything and he can even shut me up. Unless you are Tony Milan, that is a hard thing to do. He is the only person after all of these years that has made me nervous before we would meet up and…lord..lol. Yeah..its a mess.

We unintentionally met up 2 times this weekend and partied together. He even got me drunk on Saturday…Im not even a drinker anymore. Everywhere we went there were men falling over him and asking to buy him drinks, and coming onto him in the most awkward ways. It was amazing how unattractive he made me look. If you know me well..you know I really preffer to be with a man that can make me look bland. This guy is so humble and down to earth it is ridiculous. Never have I met somebody so damn hot and so unaffected. He is college educated and goal orientated and I am proud of all that he has accomplished. Im proud to know somebody like him and I am so glad that we are still friends. Yet there have been these feelings…

So on Saturday night he drove me back to Brooklyn from partying in Manhattan at around 4am. We took the Manhattan Bridge into Brooklyn and as we were driving over that bridge I realized…like fully realized that it was never going to happen. I somehow either missed my opportunity (years ago) or plain and simple he just never saw me as dating material. Just sex and friendship. And you know what..I was perfectly fine with it. I love this man for being who he is…not because of some “feeling” I get around him. I can so breathe easier around him now and I don’t have to worry about what I look like or how crazy I shouldn’t act because he never judged me in that kind of way. Don’t get me wrong! He is not without fault…cuz I can list quite a few! But why list them?

In the middle of that warm breeze thru the car window on a bridge overlooking Manhattan, I managed to let go of “that” love to gain a better understanding of our friendship and embrace a new love.

Thank you Italy.