Unfulfilled.

No exaggeration in that title at all. Let's see...I unintentionally got wasted on Friday night, got up early the next day with a hang over and along with another friend, drove to NYC to get some important stuff for a mutual friend. While in NYC I was supposed to get a shirt touched up with some rhinestones (im gay. lol) and possibly get some lunch in the city. Unfortunately we did not have enough time to do anything but pick up the equipment and come right back home. I did get to stop by a gathering for less then 5 minutes. We were really pressed for time so 5 minutes was too much time.

I called the friend we were doing the favor for and realized that we forgot a few important items. They weren't the most important things but different things mean different things to different people. After our convo ended I felt a little defeated. Like I had gone to NYC to do this favor only to not do it right. But after a while I thought to myself that maybe it wasn't such a big deal and that this friend didn't even say thank you or even express any gratitude. Nothing. He was actually supposed to call me back and didn't. I actually called him on Sunday and he was busy at work..and again...was supposed to call me back. Nothing.

Im a little pissed off because I volunteered to get certain items for him before it was too late. If I didn't volunteer to help he would have had nothing. Absolutely nothing. After I volunteered to pick up these specific items, I all of a sudden was in charge of getting everything that he wanted and needed. I don't need a gold medal or to be praised...but a simple thank you or a sign of being thankful would suffice. bleh.

Lesson learned.

I have spent my whole day off and on the phone with my other friend who broke up with his boyfriend. Its sad to hear him all distraught because I care for my friends a lot and I am very loyal and supportive. I will listen all summer if I have to, because I know what he is going thru.

Since I gave myself to my friends this weekend I decided that a little bootycall would do me some justice. Nope. After I finished I just felt gross. This is somebody I have been seeing every so often for the last year. Sweet guy, extremely sexy..but I think I am done with sex for now.

This weekend sucked.

Time 2 Reflect.

PS I am listening to the Above the Rim Soundtrack.

What you know about that?? lol

Complain.

Im kinda down right now. I wish I was not in this position but these are the cards that have been dealt to me. I want to be out of Boston so bad. Now that I am not a drunk and Im not clubbing 3 days a week I can once again see what is around me. After the New Years fiasco I felt it would be best for me to just lay low and take care of myself. It has been difficult because I really do miss going out and being hammered, but what good is that going to do me? I don't want to get away from my problems, I want to solve them.

I read somebody's blog about letting go of people who do not want to be held. It was specific to relationships but I can see how it would apply to all relationships. Friends, family and lovers. If you can see that somebody no longer needs or wants you around...why stay? Easier said then done but I think we should all embrace the power of letting go. Good-bye's open up the doors to new things.

I have so much going thru my head right now...I just don't feel like typing it out. I went to 2 clubs 2nite and it brought me down. lol I wanted a drink!! Maybe that's what it was....ugh.

I need inspiration.

Blackout

So after 5 shots of Tequilla and various other Vodka related drinks...I blacked out. Which I had no idea I had blacked out until my friends told me the things I did. Here is what I kkind of remember:

















I will post more later today. lol