Down in Virgina.

I had the privilege of visiting my friend John and staying in his home. He is such an amazing person. I have met very few people with as much drive as him. This weekend I was able to see where a lot of his magic comes from. Everything from his diverse neighborhood, friends, family, school, job, old school hangouts and hot spots.

It was not like how we do when we are in NYC, this trip was far more organic. Everything about him is larger then life. Physically..he is a tall man, everything else follows suit. It was great to see this country-like surrounding helped create such a creative and cutting edge person. As soon as I got to his house, his Mom had already prepared Chicken Adobo. I never had it before, but it was great tasting and ethnic. It reminded me of my grandmothers cooking. She sang around the house and was very talkative, I could feel so much warmth from her and I saw a lot of that in John as well.

If you are ever around my Mom long enough, you will see the traits I have inherited from her...impatience and shady glares. lol

But yeah...it was a very relaxing weekend and I have a lot more respect for John (not that I ever lacked any..)

Not only do I consider him to be a good friend, but I see him as a person who is good for me. Sometimes you look up and you realize that somebody is good for you. He is far from perfect and I do not idolize him. That is just a set up for dissapointment. Nonetheless, he is a good influence and I appreciate him.

On a random note, he knows how to draw his mans face without looking at any pictures. You have to really love somebody to know their features inside and out.

Beautiful huh?

My Ritalin Odyssey

Where did September go?

I'll sum it up:

RIP Angie Infiniti (pictured on the left). You will always be an important part of my life. No words can describe how much I learned from you. You were the most selfless person I have ever met.

I Love you.

I worked close to 6 days a week

One of my best friends moved back to Boston

Louisiana paid me a visit..and so did my house bro.

I was placed on Meds for my ADD.

It was all capped off with my trip to Atlanta, which is the bulk of this blog.

Here goes....

I went to ATL to meet somebody I have been in contact with for the last 7 years. I have always had this slight crush on him because after all of these years I never lost interest in him. We spoke online and sometimes on the phone and he always brought a lot to the table. One of the smartest people I have spoken to and extremely attractive.His pictures showed me an adorable face...his eyes filled with unknown innocence and pouty lips that would make anybody want a kiss. Its amazing how 2 people can make contact thru a website and manage to maintain a friendship for so many years and not have officially met.

Along with being friends, we flirted a whole lot. It has always been simple. No expectations and the flirting was not what kept us in contact. These are some of the things that made me like him throughout all of these years. Buying the ticket was a bit scary because I knew that things could possibly change. However, I am new. Where I wasn't into risk taking, now, I am. Everything before I got on the plane was very normal. My feelings weren't going crazy and I didn't feel like something was going to happen. I wanted to go into this with little to no expectations because I had no idea what to expect. But...beneath all of the neutral feelings, somewhere inside me, I love this man..and I have for many years now. I was never sure (and still not sure) what kind of love it was (is) because I was with somebody for a few years in between and well...I just don't know. That's all I can say...I guess. Maybe as I am typing the rest of this blog I'll figure it out...or not.

Fast forward to when I got off of the plane. I walked towards him and all of the feelings, big, small and hidden...did not come to point like I thought they might. Maybe it did, but was so small I didn't notice. I expected maybe a big hug and lots of smiles. Maybe just a couple of smiles. None. I think I gave a shy smile but it was met with expressionless eyes.I felt like I was meeting up with a friend for lunch that I saw the day B4. Very anticlimactic. Again, before I left I made sure to have no expectations, I simply went to meet this man face to face because 7 years is a long time and I felt comfortable enough to get on a plane for this "meeting."

Being that this was my first time meeting him face 2 face, I let it go because I didn't know if this was how he is. Some people are very expressionless and you don't get a sense of that by chatting online or conversations over the phone. People are multifaceted and sometimes you have to see them in the flesh to get a better understanding.

There were some little things I learned about him that made me a little sad. But I understand that is my problem and I have to remember that people live their lives differently. And its ok. My views are mine and nobody else's. It was nothing major and Im fine as long as he is.

At the airport, when I was leaving, I decided to make the effort to give him a hug since the opportunity was missed when I first got there. I started to give him a big hug but it was met with one of those pat-on-the-back hugs. Very business and impersonal.

I am a little disappointed. I hate admitting that because you know....I tried to go into this with no expectations. But, I feel like I now know this person less then I did when I got there. I do not like him any less. At all...I still have so much love and respect for him because he is still a good person. I do, I really do.

We have different shoes to fill.

And you know, I didn't have a bad time...I actually had a good time. I pushed all of that weirdness aside for most of the trip. This is what I went there for...to meet him and see what he is like in person. He is no less important to me then he was before I went on this trip.

It's close to 2am and I am still awake, writing.....

The Inside Shines.

It is what it is. I have been very fortunate this past week and hopefully things will continue to fall into place.

Be proud of Mikey, Im on track. :)

Another "Catch Up" Blog

Chicago

So I went to Chicago last weekend and had a great time. Chicago is like Boston meets New York. It is super clean (even cleaner then Boston) but is bigger and is open late like New York and yet is just as conservative looking as Boston. The public transportation is just as good as NYC but as easy as Boston. The similarities were insane. After my trip I find myself asking why the hell it took me so long to come here?? There is art all over the downtown area and there are trendy shops all over the place. I heart Chicago! lol

The one thing I didn't care for was the fact that I was the shit. Granted its nice being in a place where people like to look, stare and admire...Im not that full of myself so I would like to do some looking, staring and admiring myself. The only time I really enjoy being watched is when I dance. That's it. I appreciate it when it is done to me but it makes me self conscious after a while because admiring often turns into ugly shades of envy. PS, some man came up to me at a club and told me he would drink my bath water even if I pee'd in it. Exactly.

OK, enough of that. The friend I stayed with is somebody I have had a small crush on for a few months now. I figured I would stay with him since he offered. I wasn't really worried about staying with him because if he turned out to be a different person I would have just stayed with my Milan family in their hotel. Mikey is daring but not stupid. Anyhoo, he showed me around and treated me very well. We did the tourist thing and also hit clubs and restaurants and he even cooked me breakfast everyday and made dinner as well. We chilled and watched movies and even the Sade concert. Now...you know how I am about Sade. That woman taught me how to love thru her music. He even played Esthero all weekend. This man was trying to get me to move in! lol

I have a big crush on this man now and I have a lot of respect for him. Even if we stop talking today, I would always remember that weekend as one of my best. Nothing spectacular happened...it was just so chill and relaxing yet filled with all of this new stuff. I got to meet some of his friends and even 2003 Playboy Playmate of the year Christina. She is also Play Boy's first Latina Playmateof the year. What?? You never named dropped before?? lol Seriously tho...I wouldn't have cared to mention that if I didn't see that as a huge accomplishment. Google her...she is gorgeous and also better looking in person. She is super young too (24).

Dancing.

I decided to take up hip hop dancing classes so I can brush up on my skills. If you see me in a club and dancing within my element, you will see that I am a good dancer. However I love dancing so much that I feel I can be better. Actually I used to be better because I did shows while I was in High School. I was a choreographer for a few dance groups and even started dancing with a company. That was a long time ago and I stopped dancing for a whole year (2005) so I have been spending this whole year trying to get "it" back. People don't understand how much dancing means to me. Dancing is my drug because I really feel high when I let go.

So yeah, I get to the studio and I became very nostalgic. There was something in the air that was so familiar to me. I have no idea how to word it without being corny so we'll just leave it at that. There were a few times during the time I waited that I wanted to get up and leave! I became so intimidated but I realized that this was something I have to conquer. I developed a fear of not being able to absorb choreography. As a former dancer/choreographer that made me feels so ashamed! lol I stayed and although it was hard for me to get the steps, I got most of it and stuck with it as long as I could.

The teacher was cool and I will be coming back next week. Im hoping this opens the door for me to be adventurous enough to take more classes. Not just dancing but kickboxing and photography stuff...maybe.

I still have not had sex since June so I might be able to make it to January! lol

Cross your fingers please.

Fashion.

So a good friend of mine told me that a somewhat mutual friend of ours said on a few occasions that I have no fashion sense. The nerve!!! lol Shit...that is the first time some petty shit has managed to get under my skin. Its not because I am insecure and decided to question myself..because none of that happened. You know why? Because I create fashion I don't follow it. You know what..Im not even going to defend myself. Lets get to the damn point of why I got upset: The person who said this used to dress like me and borrow my clothes until he decided to find ways to steal high fashion labels.

Thats right...grown ass men stealing clothes. Now Im not trying to throw salt on anybody's game but please understand that when you have to resort to stealing shit to put on this facade of you being this high fashion diva..please be aware that the people around you know exactly who you are so please don't look down on them. That nasty/contridictive wannabe high class yet "normal like you" attitude is just as attractive as the insides of your nose after a club night. See what happenes when you live a lie? You start to beleive it!