A Little Somethin'..

So I decided to play with my lighting set again. I saw a pic somebody had and it was very raunchy. lol However, I love the lighting and the black background, so I recreated it and went to town with it. Thru in a mirror and everything. Then I played with it in photoshop.

Hope you enjoy.

Mike.

Shadows

I decided to take today off from work because my allergies are kicking my ass and I also just needed a mental day for myself. I know those that know me are like "What? you have Fridays off!!" LOL I have a 4 day 40 hour schedule. So I always have a 3 day weekend. But I make sure to stay busy all 3 days because I need to be productive. This weekend was taxing on me because of the photo shoot and then feeling sick from my allergies the following morning. I am not complaining..but I am tired and emotional.

Here is what I am getting to:

I am sad. This photo stuff is something I really want to do and I will be pursuing it. But this means that my plans to move are of course going to be (once again) pushed back.

A little history on where I live: I once shared this apartment with my best friend and my ex. We were very much like family. My best friend moved out to further his career and months after that my ex and I broke up and he moved out. I have been well put together and have pressed on with myself. However, I am still very much affected. I look around this house..and yes..I love my roommates! But the 3 of us (being my ex and best friend) did so much work on this apartment from the floors to the ceiling (literally) that it is haunting at times. I feel so left behind and homeless in this place. But I don't see a point in moving to another apartment because I just want to get out of this city.

Time goes by and I am just fine. I have a good job, great roommates, my baby girl Nina and I am living comfortably with my cash flow. But then those days creep in and I feel so awful. I miss my ex terribly and it breaks my heart some mornings to wake up in the same bed, same sheets and pillows...and not have him by my side. I don't even sleep on his side of the bed. My best friend as well. I miss being able to just chill and go out and walk around and talk shit. I see his old room sometimes and I think of all the hard work that was put into it and it just gets to me.

My best friend and I will eventually be at the same place at the same time and our relationship is still just as good. My ex and I...well..we'll never be able to be friends at this rate and without that, we'll just always be a memory to each other. It saddens me because I love him with everything in me, but I can only do so much. I feel like a lot of these feelings will lift once I move. Its one thing to remember...its another to have to be reminded of it everyday.

So yes, I am pursuing photography but its gonna keep me here a little longer...and Im just a little down..but it will work out. I just had to let that out.

Thanks for getting this far.

Here It Is

These are the pics (minus the last one) that I took this Saturday. I have been planning this shoot for close to 2 months now. It did not come out the way I wanted it to...but I am happy with the results. I wanted a pretty girl, distressed and drunk in the bathroom. Instead I got a pretty girl with vintage Chanel and Gatorade in a cocktail glass. LOL It proved to be much more difficult then I thought and there were some technical difficulties as well.

I must say that the people I worked with were absolutely wonderful. The subject herself, Erin, is a cowrker of mine, and she was great to work with. She is normally a Triple 5 Soul kinda gal and she comes to the office in baggy pants and sneakers everyday. It was nice to see her all dolled up. Another coworker of mine, Jess, was my assistant. She helped me with everything and did an awsome job with getting Erin's makeup done and she even made Erin's skirt poofy =)
I have a long way to go but at least I know this now. lol

The place is belongs to another friend of mine and the vintage Chanel pieces were from none other then Steph herself. Let's not forget her friendly neighbor, who provided the much needed help. My pics would not have come out like this without him. Thank you Aaron.

I have gotten some great feedback from many people, by both photographers and "regular" people. I got some good and some bad but all was good. One thing I did learn about criticism is that some people have no tact when giving it. Its important to understand that not everybody will be satisfied and some people think they can be rude with their comments. FYI: Being honast doesn't mean you have to be rude.

Anyhoo...I am sick as a dog because it is Alergy season! grrrrrr

Just a Little Bit

A lot of things have come to a point and my anxiety is a little high. I am on the verge of many things in my life right now. On the verge of a better paying position at my job, on the verge of verifying one of my passions as being a great career move and Im still saving to move. Quite a few big things going on at once. I have many obstacles as well, so I am really treading lightly so that I do not sabotage all of the opportunities that seem to be right around the corner.

My first planned photoshoot is this coming weekend and I am totally excited about it. I cannot stress enough the fact that I am a product of pop culture and damn proud of it too. I plan on using aesthetically pleasing people as subjects, however, Im not going for the hard plastic magazine look. I will have pics like that, because I want to be versatile as an artist, but I want to be known for taking pictures that are more then just pretty people looking...pretty. Im still new, so it will take some time before I can find my true direction in photography. I might change my mind and take pics of birds for all I know ;)

I of course will post those pics up here as soon as possible. Oh..and I will start a MySpace photo page as well.

I have reminded myself that I am a result of me searching for not only the person that I am now, but for the person that I want to be in the future. People can change...but they have to want it bad enough. I am the example.

Everybody cross your fingers, Mikey needs to move on. =)

To Date

I have been wanting to write this blog but I have been so tired and distracted. I went on a "non" date (sort of a date..but not as formal) this Sunday and it was ok. Very attractive guy, nice body, great fashion sense...super sweet and affectionate. We would cross the street and he would gently place his hand on my back and.... I was taken back a little. Who is this man treating me with respect? lol And like a lady as well! It wasn't bad..but it is something I prefer to do to somebody else.

I would like to say this man is like sex walking. Yes...if sex could walk..it would be him. Good lord...I want to put a hurting on this man. But...we play the same position if you know what I mean. He said he is willing to try something new..but I kinda dont believe him. He calls me when he says he is going to and if he doesn't he apologizes. Nice! I feel really weird because I am out of my comfort zone. I haven't dated in so long I am not sure what to do.

I am extremely affectionate and I love to have my hands all over who I am with..but is that too much right now? Of course it is! But...I have to get use to going at a different speed. The last time I entertained anybody in that kind of an intimate manner was my ex. That was close to 3 years in the making...so it cannot be the same. Bleh.

I dont want a relationship because I wasn't to move but Im just going to let it flow.

Experimenting

Im about to cut my hair because it is too long to keep down. It keeps waving up and I hate that shit. So before it actually turns into curls I decided its time for a haircut. So before that haircut I straightened it to see what it would look like. The pics do not capture the straightness of it. Everybody kept telling me my hair looks "asian." Yes it is that straight...but the pics are poor quality and makes it look a little poofy. Anyhoo..just wanted to share.

Its amazing how pictures make my eyebrows look smaller then they really are. Im sure ir doesnt help that I can lift them high..lol.

You Datin'?

After some further thinking, I am ready to date. Not ready for a relationship..but I think I should get into the dating scene before I turn into a weirdo. I haven't done this in close to 4 years now. Almost 3 years with one person and about one year getting over it while trying to find direction has added up pretty quick. Im kinda excited..Im willing to switch my standards up a bit for the sake of getting my feet wet.

Lets do it.

Go Mikey.