My life lately has been disastrous. Money, employment, relationship, health...you name it, everything is off track. I spoke to my good friend Rob, and he put a lot of stuff into perspective (I love you Rob, I really do. I cannot stress how important you are to my sanity).
Sometimes its no longer about what is right or wrong anymore, but rather if it even works. Does the piece of the puzzle fit? Something that seems so heinous to me, may seem very trivial to you. Do I try to make you see things my way? Or do I just accept you for who you are and just go on about my business? Not every situation merits the same thought, but sometimes you really have to put your beliefs out there and let 'em know when something is wrong. However, the older I get, the more I am letting people just be who they are and just accepting them. Unfortunately, apart of letting people "be who they are", means that some have no room in my life.
Thats the part that hurts. One day you may find yourself like me, and realize that somebody that you love so much, doesn't love you the way you need and deserve to be loved, and that its not your fault or theirs, but rather you are too different to work anymore. I am in a very strange place right now...this may be the first time in years that I have actually felt lonely and completely misunderstood. There are times where I honestly feel like I make so much sense, that I think I'm crazy. Does that make sense?
Anyhoo, as usual, I will make it through. Don't I always?
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