Guess who is skinnier then you?

;)

@ Roxy

My friend Johnny (my immediate right) and I, chillin at Roxy next to some people we were probably talking about (or not). Funny how life works.

I could be wrong, maybe we know them..or Johnny knows them since he is quite the socialite. But either way..we were tore up in front of the ladies bathroom (u can kind of see the ladies sign by my head) talking about everybody that walked by.

PS, I hate full frontal pics!

lol

High Key

So I did my first high key shoot. The model was very easy to work with and we actually are former coworkers. Small world.

I am going to try and get into the studio this week before class. I am determined to learn this shit and get as many shoots as I can before September.

Just a little much.

Right now, I am in a somewhat suspended state. I still am unemployed and very bored. However, I feel like it is too late to find a job. Why? Because I really do plan to move to NYC in October and starting a new job now would serve no purpose other then getting a little more money for the next 2 months. My money situation right now is pretty good and I don't need a job for money purposes (for now).

My photography class is going well, but the lighting and studio work is a little more complicated then I thought. So I don't want to rush into the studio and break something. After this week, I should hopefully be able to go into the studios on my own. Until then, I have the nothing to do but go to the gym. My body is coming a long pretty decent..I am getting even more lean then before and I have been told a few times that my arms look good. But shit! I am skinny!

So yeah, I believe that I am on the right track, but I am still kind of waiting for things to come along. I think its just the long days and weeks of nothing. I really have nothing to do and nobody to hang out with most of the time. My roommate, who is one of my best friends, is pretty much the only person I can hang out and party with..but even that has its setbacks...ugh..I will not elaborate. But other then the setbacks, I sometimes feel like a burden and needy. I just have so much time on my hands...I feel like I am wasting it but I don't know what else I can do. It can be overwhelming sometimes because I truly like to be busy and working alongside my peers.

I keep telling myself that this is temporary and that I will get back to normal. This, for me, is not normal. It will be a fine fucking day when I have a job and am not stuck in limbo.

One of the best things about losing my job, was that I am losing the fear and anxiety of this move. I had so much going on for me. A good job with amazing promotions and bonuses, a lot of respect, I was very important and always a favorite no matter what department I worked for and according to one of my reviews, people loved to be around me (I am personable!)...I would think about moving and would think about all of those things I would have to leave behind and I admit it, I would be so scared that I would work harder.

But its gone now..it was taken away from me and no matter how much harder I could have worked..it wouldn't have mattered. It is what it is and I am not mad at what happened. One thing is for sure..I am not scared anymore. I just want it to happen already.

I cant do this city anymore..I cant. I love it..I do, but I don't belong here anymore. I don't know how to explain it, but it just doesn't feel right to be here. Ugh..ok..I will stop the bitching. Clearly..I have enough time for it.

I went out on a date on Tuesday and it went well. I usually do not mess around on the first date, but on this date I did. I felt a little tacky, but whatever. Hopefully we will reach another date, but I wont hold my breath..this is Boston.

Boo bitch bye!

Yes, It's True!

So I have been intercourse free since November of '07, and I think I am going to implode. lol I haven't had sex on a regular basis for quite a few years. Even in my last relationship, I seemed to never get any. So, I do not know what my real sex drive is like because I am too picky to have it with just anybody. I have come close a few times this year, but no cigar.

I was talking to somebody for a couple of weeks, but as soon as I was realizing we weren't a good match, he cut me off. So, even though I was having some doubts, him cutting me off made me want him more. You know, cuz you always want what you cant have. I don't think we had any sexual energy. Sux, he is smart and very sexy. I also think he didn't want to introduce me to any of his friends. Just a feeling.

About 2 weeks ago, I ended up hooking up with 1 half of a couple. I know...scandalous but they had been hounding me for months. I am not one for threesomes as I have had 2 of them and they were both wack. I had told them a few times that I would have to pass because I only found one of them to be attractive. I guess after some reasoning, the hot one was allowed to come over and "play." Ok, honestly, that was the most sexual chemistry I have had since I hooked up with that hot flight attendant from London (i never posted that). BTW, the flight attendant from London was the best sex I have EVER had.

Anyhoo, me and the Hot Guy didn't have intercourse because we had spent so much time doing everything else, that he had to go home and cook dinner for his boyfriend. I was kool with it because it satisfied my appetite for the moment. We were dripping with sweat, chest to chest, slipping and kissing like we were hungry. It was full of heavy breaths and grunts from the pleasure and pain from biting each other. It was almost too much..I felt a little savage. It was one of those moments that if he were to slap me, I would have been even more turned on. lol

We spoke for a bit before and after and he said that him and his BF have an open relationship. Their rules were to not do something with somebody who wasn't approved of, never to do anything without telling the other partner first, and to never have any sleepovers. This kind of goes a long with my previous blog "Porn and Open Relationships."

But still...its like dinner without the main course. Like a diet that has gone on too fucking long! Ugh.!

Nice shoes, wanna fuck?

I kid, I kid!!

Class Assignment

This was the model that was sent to us by an agency for a class assignment. In person, she is prettier and she glows. However, she does not have your typical model looks. She has unconventional beauty, and that is hard to capture. I admit that I did not try hard to get good shots because I was more concerned with the technical portion of it. I just took my pics to get it out of the way.

Porn and Open Relationships

So I have decided to look into working in the Porn Industry. Not as a porn star, but as a photographer. I have always admired that lifestyle and have been closely linked to it. If you don't remember, in the past I have been showcased in 2 porn sites. No, I will not repost! lol I also know some key people in the industry and I have a genuine interest in it. Its exciting, its still art and it is a very lucrative industry. Why not?

So, I am going to start poking around and seeing where I can get my foot in the door. Its weird how things work out. When in NYC, I always seem to attract people in that industry. Wish me Luck.

Recently, I read a quote from Will Smith stating that him and Jada have always been in an open relationship. From day 1 of their marriage. He said that is what has kept their relationship strong and sexy. Its still a very taboo subject, but I have to say I understand and agree with that way of thinking. Although we like to think of ourselves as being conservatives and with morals...we still are animals. Lets not forget that in this day and age we still slaughter and consume other animals. We will pretty much eat anything! So why are we so afraid of our sexual desires?

I understand that with all of these diseases going around, we shouldn't be promiscuous, but there are ways to keep it safe. I don't want to go too in depth with that..but its an option. If I ever date again, I will seriously consider it. Especially being gay. Men are cheaters..I don't care how good you think your man is..if he had the opportunity to cheat without getting caught, he will. It has nothing to do with love as much as it has to do with I believe to be our sexual instinct.

Who wants to date? lol jk

PS My good friend Edson, came to visit this weekend. We had a blast and went out for 4 nights in a row.

This doesnt even capture the fun we had. I damaged a Chandalier on Saturday night.

Don't ask. lol





Cheers!

Rock With Me

I thought I would share one of my favorite videos. It is no secret that I love Janet. She inspires the dancer in me and this video really brought me back to the clubs. It is highly overlooked but whenever it is played, people really react well to it. I tend to zone out and feel like I am in the video. Such a sexy and dark feeling..

This is another favorite that was highly overlooked as well. I tend to lose weight to this one:

NYC Pride '08

A lot of pictures were taken, but not with my camera. So, this is all I have for now. However, I wore 2 different outfits and there are plenty of beautiful people who are not represented in these 2 photo's. Although the 2 who count the most are in them: John and Brandon. I can always count on them to feel comfortable, loved and we always share some big laughter.

The day started off at a hole in the wall restaurant in the East side. We ate vegan red velvet cupcakes and I think I had some kind of Morrocan chicken wrap. After that, we hit up a party at the Gansevoort Hotel where we hid from the rain under table top umbrella's. From there we walked thru the Meat Packing District and chilled at Los Dados. After an hour of carrying on and drinking, we made our way to the much too crowded Pier at the end of Christopher street. I can't do that place during Pride anymore. Too many children and just too damn packed. If everybody in the ghetto was gay and they walked into the middle of the street...you would understand.

The night ended at a club called Hiro. I was there 2 years ago to see Esthero perform and the venue is gorgeous. I had a really good time there, I danced next to a cute porn star while exchanging glances (why do porn stars like me and why do they NEVER live in Boston??) all night and was hit on by a few people. Its nice to feel attractive. I also got to hang out with a very handsome guy...we made out. I know...very fast of me, but it was Pride. Oddly enough, I don't think we had any chemistry. I am very hot and cold like that..I either really like you or I am numb to you. Boo!

As usual, I didn't get to see everybody I wanted to see, but I will be back soon.

To sum it up...it was a good weekend. I will post other pics if I get my hands on them.