Holiday Weekend Semi Reflection Rant

This Holiday Weekend came and went without me leaving the house. This is the second Christmas (in a row) that I have not celebrated. This was not planned however it wasnt a let down either. Next Holiday Season (because I most likely will not do anything special for this New Years Eve) I will be much more pepared because I refuse to pass up on partying and being just a little drunk. I guess its a fitting end to a year that I intentionally sat out of. I decided last year that I would sacrifice my year so that I may be able to go on this small journey of self healing in a different country. Well I plan on being back this coming year...but of course in a different way.

I love New Years...its such an excuse to go 180 on everybody w/o having to explain yourself.

This is the first year in 4 years that I have not indulged myself in a pair of Dior shades. NOW...I am not a label person, but I have an eyewear obsession. Its a sad obsession because I cannot see w/o my regular glasses and I refuse to wear contacts. I pretty much wear my Diors a few times for minutes at a time and then put them away. I got my first pair in South Beach while on my way to my (then) boyfriends hotel to get the money he owed me and to formally let him know it was over. I thought it would be "fab" to show up and look like the sexy people on Ocean Drive with a huge pair of Christian Dior Motards (flashy aviators...very JLO circa '01).

On my way to his hotel I stopped by this Drugstore that seemed to have hired the country of Cuba(im not racist...just blunt). I needed some water because it was so damn hot (it was july) and I didnt want my mouth to be dry when I cussed my (then) boyfriend out. I took a swig of water and was on my way. A few blocks later I realized that I couldnt read any of the street signs w/o my regular glasses on. It was then that I realized that I had left my regular glasses in little Cuba's Drugstore. Im not going to get into how I managed to find my way back or how rude the staff was to me because they thought I was accusing them of stealing when all I was doing was asking them if they had a lost and found.

I didnt get my regular glasses back and I never made it to my (then) boyfriends hotel. But I had my Diors and it looked great with my tan.


Wasn't this blog random?


These are not Diors. I actually don't even own these.

Just Wanted To Share Some Skin

The background was my tacky bathroom so I photoshoped the shit out of it to make it look like a studio photograph. Im critical about good pics. My days in the darkroom did me good. Who wants to help me get back into shape this year?

Say What?

Ok so I work in the customer service dept for a student loan company and I talk to so many different people from around the world..litterally.
This job never fails to let me know just how not-smart people can be. Getting a loan thru us is really a simple process. Follow the directions. Its as simple as that. However these people have to call over everything and some of the things they say to me cause me to really wonder how they made it this far in life where they are really going to college. I can't even form sentences about it anymore...lol Here is a list of some of the things these fuckers say:


Promissory Note:

1. Promishinary Note
2. Pronomanasary Note
3. Promise Note
4. Prominary Note
5. Camasory Act (by far the BEST)

Disbursement Date:

1. Disembursement Date
2. Dimbursement Date
3. Dismember Date (also...the best)

Co-Borrower/Co-Signer

1. Co-Borrier
2. Co-Borrer
3. Co-Acting
4. Co-Maker (my fav..lol)

Credit

1. Credik
2. Credikt


You know what...I have so much more. Especially quotes. But Im not in the mood to write about this now. I got other shit on my mind..like the blog Im about to write after this.....maybe Kerri can help me!

Comments.

I changed the setting on my blogs so that people can comment and remain anonymous. I hope I do not regret this.


Oldie but Goodie.

King Kong

You know why this movie got such good reviews? Because the people who reviewed it get paid to sit around and watch movies. That shit was too fucking long. It could have ended right when they got off Skull Island and it would have been enough. But of course what would this remake have been like w/o that beast jumping up and down in NYC? The special effects were nice but it was used so much that it just started to look fake. I loved the stampede part and I fell out when King Kong whooped those dinosaur's asses because he was really knockin' them bitches like a drunk man at a bar who knows how to throw a GOOD punch. Im talkin' bout GOOD hits! Like one of them old man hits...the kind that knock you the fuck out hits. Yeah one of them.

After awhile I really thought the movie was Jurrasic Park with all them fucking dinosaurs running around and shit. Wait...the natives. They were such nasty awful people. It was like the people from the Matrix (not the people living IN the matrix [us?] but the people hiding from them machine things..aw hell..you know what I mean) were turned into black ass zombies. And I dont mean black people...I mean PAINTED black by dirt or some kind of shit. Yeah...prolly their own fecal matter. They just looked like they stank too. And they had this old lady too..she kept talkin all this nonsense in their native tongue. If I was that blonde girl I really would have told her to stop all that crazy talk. "You need to shut that shit down...Im white and I dont speak you." Yeah thats what I would have said. I mean hell..at that point in time they looked they was about to kill her...so what did she have to lose by talkin shit? They didnt speak english no damn way!

Anyhoo, it wasnt a bad movie it was just too fucking long. After awhile I felt sorry for King Kong because he was out of his element and he showed emotion towards that blonde ho. However it was either us or him so he had to go! The one person I wanted to be killed off was that fat fuckin director that got them in that mess to begin with. He would have sold his family up the river for some kind of directorial fame. And of course the black man got killed. Well don't just listen to me...go see that shit for yourself. I really wanted to see Brokeback Mountain but they were playing it in small places that were just too far away. Shit...I have porn at home.



Is that Jack Black? He shoulda died. Its not too late actually...

Black Girls

I hate black girls. They are truly the worse. Let me clarify something though....I don't hate black people or black females...I hate black GIRLS. Let me specify a little more...I dont hate black WOMEN..I hate black GIRLS. Them black girls are so judgemental. They always got something to say and they always think because you are pretty and gay that you are somehow no longer a man. I have always tried to disregard this because I grew up with black people and I have really good black friends so I didnt want to seem racist (but who isnt to some extent?). But I cant battle the fact that me and most of my friends have always had troubles with these ghetto black hoes on the streets.

Yesterday I was on the train and these two black girls with bad pony tails was acting so shady and loud. The train got really crowded because everybody gets on this particular line since it goes to the mall. Right before the train enters the station the girls get up and start giving rude "excuse me's!" to everybody in their way. Guess where I was standing..the door. Yes people...they were headed my way. I don't give a fuck if you're a girl or not...you better not push me. So these hoes stop right behind me and to my suprise nothing happened. They didnt throw shade or suck their teeth. But I still hated them. lol

LOL

And Still

..no fucking sex. We all reap what we sow.


I got some after this pic....which reminds me of sex.

Stringing Along

Now is the time for action. So why are some people just sitting on the sidelines trying to figure out whats going on? Its happening right in front of your eyes! Maybe Im too much or just plain spoiled because I beleive in imediate and long term remedies not cover ups. A very sad situation I am in however I will survive. Life goes on.


Currently listening to "Stringing Me Along"
from 702. Remember them? I love them!

Sex and Fashion

Great combo right? Apparantly not all the time. I am such a sexual person and I thrive on sharing mutual lust for somebody. I want to be wanted just as much as I want...for somebody else. Does that make sense? You know like Marvin Gaye: "I want you the right way, I want you, but I want you to want me too." See Im not asking for anybody to give me what I would not give back. I can be just as giving and appreciative as the next person so give me what I deserve man!

Tonight I will once again go to bed with nothing in return. I want so much and I show it and I prove it all the time. Im not being selfish. I often find myself just giving up now. At one point I would pretty much demand what I felt I deserved. I cant do that anymore. I will not do it anymore. I hate to say this but if things dont change there will be reperucussions. I like to think Im attractive. Other people think I am too...well when I was single I felt that way. Now I know I have let myself go a little bit but not by that much. Sex should not be this difficult.

Anyhoo on to fashion. I have ALWAYS been fashion forward. My mom used to design clothes and dressed me in Lacosse (among other lables I cannot afford as an adult) at a very early age so I grew up with a sense of style. As I got older I experimented with a lot of different looks and I was never afraid to be alternative or grungy. I have had very long hair and very short hair and I have rocked my styles right. Fades, blow outs, braids, cornrolls twists, and dyed. I havent done it all..but I have done enough with this hair of mine.

I have felt the most comfortable in loose fit clothing. Although I grew up with many influences I have always leaned to my hip hop roots. I spent a big part of my youth in LA during the 80's while my uncles were in gangs and breakdancing. Lord thank gawd I didn't get into that cholo style!!! Anyhoo this last year has been tough on me financially and my taste has been changing. Not to mention I have been losing and gaining weight so much that depending on when I bought my clothes it might not look the same a month after its purchase. So since I havent been able to shop as much or even remain the same size, my clothes do not match. Either my t shirts (because thats all I have been able to afford) either look too small for my jeans or vice versa.

Footwear has been a battle too. I have fallen into this Puma wrestling boot phase that now makes me sick to my stomach. I really loved them at one point and I always managed to get the most exotic and expensive pair out there. Even if they had to be imported. Now I hate them because I can't afford anything new. So Im stuck in this sort of prancing shoe mode. Don't that shit suck? Im ready for a new style. Or at least something constant. What really needs to happen is I need to stick to a healthy diet and stay one size long enough to not have to feel like Im too small or too big therefore ruining whatever clothes I have recently purchased.

I just wanna get my nice body back so I can walk around half nekkid. I mean when I had a really nice body it was covered in baggy clothes. Now that Im older and I get way less sex I want my body back so I can feel sexy ....since I dont get any of it. Damn this is a long blog! Well to sum it all up...lemme do some push ups and put on some feel good clothes and seduce myself to sleep (again).

I would like to thank this blog for letting type all of this shit up. lol

::muahzz::



Fur Anybody?