Alive In NYC

I haven't slept much and I am sure I have lost some weight but dammit, I am having a great time. I have been doing it all and some of it on my own. I have many pictures that I wil post up on Wednesday. Expect to see dancing queens, pics at the notorious pier, me drinking, train pics and hopefully some beach pics. Also I have decided to hopefully cut my hair before I leave. It is time. After going to so many clubs and bars (4 in the last 2 days) I can really see how men preffer men with short hair. Anyhoo, I have A LOT to say and I will save it for when I get home andhave digested my trip.

I would like to thank you NY folk who always "can't wait" till I get there, who stood me up. Maybe you'll understand why I will not call on you the next time I go to NY. Nonetheless I am doing my thing and having a good time.

When I post expect to see those pics I mentioned plus my thoughts on where I feel I belong in the club circuit. lol TTYL


Mikey

Eye Candy.

It's been a long time....lol

Hello There.

So I am getting myself ready for this trip to NY and I cannot wait to do the damn thing. I need this trip. It is going to be 5 days away from Boston and trust me I need it. Here is a very recent pic of me. The hair isnt gone, it's in the hat.

Acceptance.

It has been raining for days and Im sure you might have heard about the terrible floods we have been having. Along with flooded basements and lost days, I somehow managed to slip into a sudden sadness. The sadness I beleive is apart of my acceptance. The acceptance that no matter how hard I love this man, I can't make him love me back. Never was there an intention to rekindle anything but I have carried this huge desire to be a friend to somebody who I shared my life with for the past few years. As I type this, I am still a little down but I hate to be the person that I have become. Weak with hope.

At around 6:50pm today I noticed this beautiful bright light come thru the window as I mopped the bathroom. It was the sun. The sun finally shined and I felt so inspired. I don't want to be like this anymore and I cannot stress that enough. I have seen the worst of me and I have done things that embarass me to no end. But I understand it is part of the process of getting over what I have been put thru (by myself and by "you").

I will give myself some credit because for every few steps I have taken..I have maybe taken one step back when caught off gaurd. I may not be ready to love again, but I will because thru this relationship I saw what unconditional love looks like...and I would do it over again...even if its with somebody else.

Needy

Im very needy right now. Guys are coming out of the woodwork right now and they all want to hear what I have to say about being sad. Its like a turn on to them...and Im enjoying it too!! LOL I will finish this later...Im on the phone with one now. I like this one tho...awww!!!

If you read this...you have made the last few days for me much easier. Thank you!

Mikey

RIP Travis

Travis was a person who took all the wrong paths in life and paid for it in the end. Him and I started off on the wrong foot but we eventually made peace. He was a person who didn't take anybody's shit and I admired him for that. Sadly enough I think I have more negative things to say about him then good. So Im going to keep this short and say that Travis was like all of us. He was beautifully human and he deserved the best in life. I love you Travis and I thank you from the bottom of my heart because you challenged me.

You showed me that I can forgive.

Comes Around For You Too

I know you read this or you have and will again. Make sense? And no..this is not for "him" (Ex="him.") This is for somebody (else) who has judged me. You should read thru my blogs very carefully because there is a lot that is left out. Don't try to read between the lines either because you will never get it right unless you ask (and of course you won't). You want to be indirect? Here is my turn.



Enjoy.

Movie Night

So I spent the evening watching movies with a new friend of mine. We watched and international movie (subtitled!!!!!!!!!!!!) Beautiful Boxer and some of Best ofShow. I was too tired to finish the second movie because it was (and still is) late. We spoke a lot and like everybody else he "has a friend" that would be "perfect" for me. Im about to give in and start meeting these people because I need to "release some tension."

One thing that stood out about this evening is that he told me about a man he use to date 4 years ago that still has not let go. Can you beleive that shit?? He was talking about how pathetic this guy is for still having those feelings and talking about how he has to move on and get a life. So of course I get nervous and start to wonder if my Ex will be thinking like that in a few years. I have this fantasy (lol..i know) that one day we'll be able to do this again the right way and that I will be able to be the man that he needed me to be. Though in reality in order for me to be "that" man he would have to be "that" man too. I didn't fuck up the relationship on my own.

Anyhoo thanx to that conversation I will deffinitely pay attention to my obsesive tendencies to "hold on." Its so late...why am I even talking about this? I need an NY date. Lets talk about that. Do you know anybody??

For Old Time's Sake

Everyday Of The Week.

I miss you on Mondays because you always made the first day easy to swallow

I miss you on Tuesdays because you reminded me that it was half way done tomorow

I miss you on Wednesdays because 3 days into the week you still had dinner on the table

I miss you on Thursdays because you were just as tired as me but were always willing and able

I miss you on Fridays because you loved me just as much as you did on the first day

I miss you on Saturdays because you would so willingly serenade me with breakfast and sometimes a "lay"

I miss you on sunday..because i know that you are no longer here for monday.

Open

I have been very introverted in the last year or so and I am finally ready to get out of "myself." I am now willing to stay out late on a work (not all the time) night and I am now willing to meet new people (For friendsips/acquaintances!!) AND I am willing to take myself out of my comfort zone so that I can get better. PS I am using a laptop with very unfriendly keys, so this blog is going to be short...kinda like my previous "drunken" post.

So to wrap it up.... This is the begining of my rebirth.


Watch.


Mike

OMG

So yeah...Im not as spber as I normally am when I type here. I am having second thoughts about my long hair. I miss my short hair. I think it brings more attention to me....long hair screams pretty. On me..pretty is too pretty. yup. So yeah...I was told that my hair is pretty but won;t get me "laid." Im not sure if I want to be laid..but I would like to be attractive to pepole. Wow..I butchered that spelling...whatever.

Anyhoo..im feeling extra lonely and blurry right now...come lay with me. ::wink wink::


PS...this post may not be here when I re-read it after I wake up.

You lov eit tho/

Behind Me

"well then you have been dealt your karma and now you can put it behind you and move on to better yourself"

Thank you Jason.

That quote took a load off my shoulders and has changed my way of thinking.

Its Me Again

Well kinda sorta. I havent posted in awhile because I have had nothing new to say. Same ol heart break bullshit I would rather keep to myself for now. Other then that I have been shopping like nobodys business. Now don;t get me wrong..I donthave lot of shit. Just more then I usually do. Which is never. I have been taking some pics because with all of this drama going on I just realized I have a lot of hair. Here are some pics so that you can see that even though I feel like shit on the inside lately..I have been hiding it with hats, glasses and hair.


I look very suspect in this pic.


You see that fucking hair? Who is this guy?