Complain.

Im kinda down right now. I wish I was not in this position but these are the cards that have been dealt to me. I want to be out of Boston so bad. Now that I am not a drunk and Im not clubbing 3 days a week I can once again see what is around me. After the New Years fiasco I felt it would be best for me to just lay low and take care of myself. It has been difficult because I really do miss going out and being hammered, but what good is that going to do me? I don't want to get away from my problems, I want to solve them.

I read somebody's blog about letting go of people who do not want to be held. It was specific to relationships but I can see how it would apply to all relationships. Friends, family and lovers. If you can see that somebody no longer needs or wants you around...why stay? Easier said then done but I think we should all embrace the power of letting go. Good-bye's open up the doors to new things.

I have so much going thru my head right now...I just don't feel like typing it out. I went to 2 clubs 2nite and it brought me down. lol I wanted a drink!! Maybe that's what it was....ugh.

I need inspiration.

Because We Look Cute

About 2 months ago at Raul's Hawaiian Themed party.

Mashups/Bootlegs

I recomend everybody go to this website and check out these hot mashups. Cobraeater is one of my favorites. I made a cd cover for it so it pops up whenever my media player plays it.

http://www.bass211.com/Bass211Podcast/index.html

Yummy.

Single

February 11th will mark me being single for a year. No dating either. Some flirting and a few sex romps but nothing serious at all. I keep saying that I want to date and that I am ready to meet somebody new bla bla bla. But I dont think that is the case. I am lonely and miss just laying down next to somebody I care for and randomly slow dancing ...but I have too much to accomplish this year. Being with somebody will just slow me down and I can't afford to be distracted again.

I have already slowed down the partying and I havent had a "drink" since New Years. I can do without it and it feels great to come home and not be drunk while putting my key in the door. I know it hasnt been a lot of time (only 3 weeks) since I dropped the partying and drinking, but I cannot imagine being like that anymore. However, I do NOT frown upon it! I just can't fit that into my life right at this time. Now I have to work on sleeping early on the days that I would normally go out.

My bday is coming up (Feb 15th) and I am excited for it to come and go. For the last few years my bday has been...well...not so good. Lets just leave it at that. So I am trying to plan something and maybe throw a party...maybe just a get together somewhere..I have no idea..I just want to celebrate. One of my friends told me that my year seems to not officially start until my bday because something life changing usually happens on it that forces me to switch everything up.

So I look forward to this new "New Year" coming up.

On a random note: This is a pic that is on the Krash website (krashnyc.com). This was a very good night and I look forward to seeing my NY friends again. I miss ya'll so much!


8-19-06

In God's Hands

I bought 29 CD's last year because I bought like 2 the year before. Not only did I buy up all of the sneakers but I bought up all of the damn music too! I am a HUGE music fanatic and have a lot of knowledge about inside stuff. Its such a passion. Im like amusic stalking whore. For real. At some point I hope to make a few tacky 80's inspired songs of my own...before I die. Please.

So yes, I would like to hi-lite one CD in particular: Nelly Furtado's "Loose." That album got me thru my whole year. It spoke volumes to me. I was in such a hard place all year and yet "Loose" not only helped me escape my fears with all of its infectious dance tracks, it helped drain a lot of my tears with ONE track. Yes ONE track that summed up my failed relationship. "In God's Hands" has to be one of the best songs I have ever heard. Its not a masterpiece...its raw. If you have ever been in a relationship with somebody that you genuinely love during and after it has ended...and would want it back...this is the song for you. Can't express how I never let go of that light no matter how dark it got.

I love it to pieces and still play that song along with the entire album..over and over and over again.

Just wanted to share that.

Another Happy Belated Birthday...

..to Aaliyah Dana Haughton. Born January 16, 1979.



She would have been 27 this year but instead she is timeless.

The song titles "One In A Million" and "More Then A Woman" couldn't describe her any better. It always takes an artist like Aaliyah to start a new sound for a genre of music. Never was she a huge star like Beyonce or Britney Spears, but she helped change the sound of R&B before they came out. One In A Million marked the explosian of double beats in R&B music that had some radio DJ's scratching their heads with the fact that they had a hot track....but didn't know how to mix it in with the "other" music they had. Good music always prevails one way or another and tracks like "4 Page Letter," "Hot Like Fire" and of course "One In A Million" changed the direction of black music forever. How did this happen? This was the official unveiling of Timbaland and Missy's off the hook sound (that everybody wanted AFTERwards).

While first getting their feet wet with Jodeci, the duo created a different sound that landed in Aaliyah's lap. Had it been another R&B star this might not have happened. However she wanted a change from her first album and took a chance. That chance paid off and One In A Million is a bonafide classic and must have for your R&B collection. She was on her way to being a big star but unfortunately she passed away and left many of us with feelings of "what could have happened next?" But for me what was supposed to happen already happened. Anybody can be a big star with the right gimmick or right talent at the right time....but can we all change something as big as music?

Thank you Aaliyah for taking a chance.

Catch Me

I am also on MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/redmilan

So I'm Fuckable

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Blackout

So after 5 shots of Tequilla and various other Vodka related drinks...I blacked out. Which I had no idea I had blacked out until my friends told me the things I did. Here is what I kkind of remember:

















I will post more later today. lol

Im Still Here

It's 2007 and I am still here. Still here meaning I made it thru and I am going to keep going. I decided that my New Years Resolution would be to focus. I am not going to set myself up for dissapointment anymore by saying shit like "Im going to learn how to drive this year!" or "I am going to move out of Boston this year!" I cant do that anymore. Its like a set up for failure. Instead I am just going to focus on the cards that I have in front of me and take it day by day. That is all I can do.

Yes I still want to get the fuck out of Boston and yes I would still like to learn how to drive. But it will happen if it is meant to be. I would also like to start dating again but it is so hard to do that here. It is some slim fucking pickings man! For real. Something always got to be wrong. The men here are either trying to get me to mess with them on the side while they have a man at home or they are trying to make me their "lady." Im not a bottom fellas (unless u give it up first =P). Stop.

I also learned a huge lesson in regards to the ex at the very end of December. We fell into this situation where we were spending way too much time on each other and having sex quite often. Come to find out he was not as single as he said he was. Such a mess. I know I have professed my love for him on this blog many times but if he fell off the face of the earth I couldnt be any happier.

Enough about that mess. So yes...It's me. All me. Still here.

I will post quite a few of New Year party pics sometime this week.

Smile =)