My Heart to Yours.

I have a friend going thru a similar situation that I went thru with my last ex and I realize that seeing people hurt like that, is a weakness of mine. I hate to see people go thru that kind of pain. It is so consuming and it makes me want to give them a hug and listen. lol What worked for me, was doing everything I needed to do, 10x better and writing in this blog. I did go out more and started drinking, but whatever..i was 27! It was time! lol

So yes, to anybody out there going thru a shitty fucking breakup, the kind that turns your world upside down and strips you of your self worth/confidence, just remember that all of this mess should make you stronger, smarter and a better man/woman for you and the next person you are with. Everything that hurts you needs to be turned around and used as a strength because you cannot allow yourself to give up or fall victim to the same situation again. Rebounds are cool, but like drinking and partying, it is only a distraction and you need to fully get over the breakup with a clear and sound mind. It takes awhile and it is not easy, but again, serial dating and distracting yourself with booze and partying will only prolong the pain. I speak from personal experience.

This blog is my proof that a broken heart can make you a better person if you put yourself first and take care of your business. You know, I have grown a lot as a person and this blog may not have everything, but it does show some of my failures, triumphs and a good portion of my overall growth. I am very proud of myself at this moment in my life and I attribute a lot of it to the failure of my relationship and the drive it gave me to survive. So yes, to many of us heartbreak is one of the hardest things to survive, but it teaches you how to succeed by surviving.

So, my love, go thru the hurting now, because you will be so much better off in the future.

I believe in you.

;)

Because I needed a good douche for the New Year.

Let's see, how do I make this as short as possible? A former acquaintance sent me a friends request on facebook. We were "freinds" on myspace until he deleted me. He lives in NYC and sent me a msg on myspace asking me how my move was. When I read the msg, I had a guest over from Boston and was too busy to reply. However, I did show my guest his page and we were complimenting his pictures (oh, the irony that follows). They were really nice and he's handsome. So, when my guest left, I wrote him a very detailed reply, only to realize that I couldn't send him a msg. When I hit the send button I got an immediate reply telling me that only people on his friends list could send him messages. Sure enough, I was no longer on it.

I decided to send him a message on AIM, but he didn't reply. So, I just let it go. He was never a friend, just somebody I chatted with online and a few times over the phone. Its all good, no harm done. This happened in October. So...when I got his req on facebook, I sent him a msg about it. This is our convo:


Me
January 15 at 11:08am
..didnt u delete me from your myspace friends list?


Douche
Add as Friend
January 15 at 11:16am
Report Message
this automatically sent to folk in my address book. you were still there.


Me
January 15 at 11:20am
ah ok. I guess now is a good time to clean it up.


Douche
Add as Friend
January 15 at 11:32am
Report Message
true

Ok, although this is not and never was an important person, it still blew me away. How can a grown ass man, well into his 30's, be such a fucking cunt? lol Seriously dude, what is your problem and why do you think people have to drop everything they are doing so they can reply to a message on myspace? If it were that much of a concern to you, you should have called or sent me a text. AND because he probably had some kind of small remorse or regret for deleting me so fast, he sent me a msg on some "other site" and asked me how my move was...again. I told him it went well and the convo stopped after that. So yeah, that request was not an accident. One look at his page and you can see he is not new to facebook.

You ever go to somebody's page and it has all of these words of wisdom type shit and these cliche fucking proverbs? He is one of those people. So, you think you are about to chat with a well rounded individual but instead you are talking to self centered super toddler with a chip on his shoulder.

So yeah, fuck you and your nasty self entitled attitude. You just did me a huge favor.

;)

Nina needs a new home, again.

"If u were a person, I would tell u how important u are to the makings of me. I would tell u how u helped me stay strong and how important it was to my survival, that u never changed and always loved me the same. I would tell u that our walks this summer were some of the best moments I had all year. Seriously. When I brought u to the pond and u were amazed at the amount of water and ducks, I cried a little...because I knew I was leaving soon. I also knew that your road was going to be long like mine...and I wish we could share it together.

Here I sit in this Chipotle, by 36 and Madison wiping my face over my burrito (for real..lol).

I love u my baby girl and if I could bring u here, I would."

I wrote that on my cell phone and emailed it to myself. I was told via text message that my dog needs to find a new place to live. My friend who is watching her, received a messaged from her landlord stating that the dog has to go or she will be evicted. I totally understand and I am kool with the fact that she is choosing her housing over somebody else's dog. Wouldn't you?? I am very thankful that my friend was even able to take care of her for the last 2 months.

So yeah, I am a bit sad that she will be onto her 3rd new home. I feel like I may never get her back and if I do, she may be all weird and thinking she is not wanted. Animals get like that...they have feelings and they know when they are not wanted. Even if I never get her back again, I want her to be happy, healthy and loved. I know she is just a dog, but she also represents a very important chapter in my life and it saddens me that she has to suffer because I chose to leave her behind. I know what it is like to be left behind..and again, I know she is just a dog, but I feel guilty...

Anyhoo, this will workout even if I have to get back on that bus to find her a new home.