It Happens

There is a disconnect going on right now, but one thing I have learned is that people are dispensable. It may seem like a very shady and hurtful thing to say, but it is true. People change all the time and sometimes we change to the point where we are no longer compatible with the people around us. It sucks when some of the most important people around you become a stagnant part of your life. Or worse...a bad influence. Not to mention when the shoe is on the other foot and you are stagnant and your influence is hurtful to the ones around you.

But it happens.

PS: the banner in the previous post is definitely NOT going to happen. It looks like a damn MySpace shrine. I will design something more tasteful in due time.

Possible Banner

Thanks for reading another installment of my sometimes overexposed life on blog.

I am still jobless. I applied at a few places but I have heard nothing back. There is something inside of me that doesn't want to be bothered with being employed. I think its called...laziness! ha! Seriously, I am enjoying this great weather and I have been out a lot. Since being laid off I have gained 4 pounds from going to the gym so much. I go to the gym almost everyday now and my body is changing pretty quick.

Anyhoo, I think I am ready for a banner. This designed was on the whim. I want a damn banner but after designing this mess..I am kind of not feeling myself all over it. Although it is my blog!!! lol

Any feedback or suggestions would be great.



Cheers!

Yeah, I said it.

Not having a job means that I talk 75% less then I have been accustomed to for the last 3 years. Weird but true. Everybody works all day and I am home to search for jobs online and clean. So when I speak to somebody, I turn into Chatty Kathy. Ugh. Its like word vomit. I can't seem to shut the fuck up. Other then that, I go to the gym often and stay longer then usual. I also have been spending waaay too much money on eating out.

My Beg. Photography class is finally over. I might not have mentioned that here, but I took an 8 week course and I went to class once a week for a few hours. It was very informative and I got some good stuff out of it. Not as much as I wanted, but the teacher was like super ADD...seriously. He is an older guy with over 30 years experience and I think he just knows way too much to teach. Not sure if that makes sense. It was just a lot to absorb. Anyhoo, I am taking one more class thru the summer. It will focus more on fashion photography and I am very excited.

Lets see, what else can I chat about...hmmm. I have somewhat of a crush on somebody. That's new..cuz you know, I don't like people like that. I snapped my fucking glasses today and I had to glue them back together because I cannot afford a new pair. Hot.

Lets see..what else. This may get me in trouble, but whatever..a friend and some loser broke up. There, I said it. In his defense, the loser is a nice guy, but who said losers can't be nice!?

I also deleted an acquaintence from my myapce friends list over a political debate. lol You know, I am not sensitive about that mess, but if I feel that you are being an asshole and trying to cover it with your political view...you kind of just made ur asshole-ness seem bigger. Umm..hello?

OK, let me get back to hell.

If Only...

I spoke to a good friend earlier about an ongoing issue she has been having with a "guy friend," and I gave her advice that I wished I would have given myself a long time ago:

"Closure is not a conversation."

After our talk, I started cleaning my kitchen like a crackhead and I was really thinking about what I had said to her...its a really deep statement.

For me, it means that no amount of words in any conversation can overpower the action of a situation. People can lie, embelish and totally skew things with words. This comes from being in situations with people who do not know how to verbally comunicate and or are liars. But little do they know that their actions end up giving them away. Its frustrating, I know, but sometimes people leave you no choice but to do it on your own.

Fuck it.

Carry On

It has been almost a week now and things are settling in. I have been so well rested and the days have been filled with eating out, movies, friends and faux coworkers. I also got a sweet pair of all white Supra Skytops and a Beetles t-shirt.

Its actually been a pretty good week despite being laid off. I do need a new job and I will start my search starting tonight or very early tomorrow. But either way it will all fall into place. I have been tempted to do some searches in NYC, but I am not going to let this force my hand. It would be easy to run out of here, but I want to take one more class this summer. Once I am done with that, I should have no reason to be here. Unless the new job I have pays me 10k more then what I was already making, then I will consider staying a little longer. But only because I would then have even more money to move. I seriously doubt I am going to get that much considering I am an art school dropout and students are graduating this month.

I have these mixed feelings about my free time because I am not sure how long it will last. Ideally, I would like to throw myself into my art and take many pictures, but I feel as soon as I put my resume out there..I might not be unemployed for long. But, as I stated before, it is May and students are graduating, so I may not want to wait too long or there may be no jobs available.

Well, I will do it all. I will look for a job, find one and do my art at the same time.

Im ADD like that.


My "Wife" Bory and I.

From Home

So far, its like breaking up with somebody you have been with for a few years. For those of you that know me well, you might see how this is somewhat of an unwanted flashback.

For the last almost 3.5 years of my life, I have dedicated my time and energy to this company. I came in with no experience and made sure to knock down every barrier and any odds that were stacked against me so that I could climb the ladder into a position that would make me proud. Until this job, I had never been promoted to anything and I don't think I ever had the desire or motivation to do so. Not here. I was on a mission and I had to prove to myself, that I can be more then just a worker bee at the bottom of a barrel. Granted, I wasn't a manager or any kind of superior, but I was many platforms away from the position I had first held.

When I interviewed for this job, my resume had been mixed up with somebody who had experience. So, when I let the interviewers know that they had the wrong resume, and that mine was the one with no experience, I made sure to give the best interview that I could give, and it worked. I was told that this is the kind of job that had plenty of room for growth and that it comes fast. It was true, if you really wanted it. After 2 years, about 2 and a half different departments, awards, gifts and decent raises, I was finally able to secure my way into the position I wanted from the day I got there. But, after 2 layoffs and some huge unexpected setbacks to the company, the 3rd set of layoffs weren't as kind to me. I have been sent packing.

I am not upset that I was chosen this time around (along with 500 others), because this company invested in me the same way that I had invested in it. I got out of it what I put into it, and I can't complain. I know that it is usually not that easy to progress in most company's, so I am grateful to have gotten to where I was at before the layoff. Not only did I progress in the company, but I progressed into a better employee, a harder worker, better team player and able to twist and bend with an ever changing workflow. I wrote a letter to one of my managers the weekend before the layoff, and I told her that "I hope for the best, but I am ready for the worse. What I take from you, **** and everybody I have worked with here, will be invaluable to my future as a team player in almost any setting imaginable." She sent me a nice reply but she ended up losing her job before I made it to the office, so I am glad I was able to put that out there because the people in this company (past and present) are awesome and I really wish nothing but the best for everybody.

Anyhoo, I am sure it will take me a few days or maybe a bit longer to get used to this, but at this point in my life, I am not afraid of change. However, I really am going to miss the people who made going to work extremely easy...so much time spent with them, 5 days a week. Its almost like moving away from family. I feel like I have been able to secure myself some lifetime friends. Thats nice.

I'll be fine.

Take care, my friends.

The other shoe dropped.

Dear Colleague

Due to the sudden and unexpected filing for bankruptcy by **** and the Bank of America’s decision to exit the private student loan industry and terminate its relationship with ****, the Company is taking immediate measures to reduce its costs, including reducing its workforce. Regrettably your position is being eliminated.

Your presence is required at a meeting at Noon in the OCR Auditorium to review the next steps in the reduction in force process. We will be sharing important information regarding your separation from ****, including WARN notice and final paychecks and inventory sheet confirming your return of Company property.

To begin the separation process please

· Gather your personal property. There are boxes and packing materials available in the coffee areas on your floor.

· Leave all **** property at your workstation. This includes badges, laptops, IT tokens, blackberries and credit cards.

Following your meeting and completion of the pink inventory checklist you must leave the building. Your network access and badge access will be shut down shortly.

Long Weekend

I just want it to be over already...