Strippers, Non-Shopping and Self.

It has been a few weeks since I have posted..or at least 2..I dont know its really late dammit. I have had so much to blog about in the last few weeks but have not had the time to do so. I have to be in a certain mood to type whats going on in my brain. Its a lot. Its like a paint ball fight. Really. Lets see..At the beginning of the month I went to a strip club for my friends B-Day. It was a first for me. Well..first time being at a straight strip club. The women were very nice and they had great gaydar...yes..they were all over me.

In between the birthday girl screaming "Im a lesbian now!! wooo hooo!!!" and all of the perverted men in the audience, I realized I was having a great time. Strippers are awsome!!! I got the chance to chill with Andi Sue from Penthouse. She is officially (according to Penthouse..not me.) the sexiest Penthouse Pet ever. She took my glasses and rubbed in on her pussy...and put them back on my face. Im not gonna lie...my glasses smelled great afterwards...lol. She was very sweet and had a really small pussy...like unused. I think she gets off on being nekkid but doesnt have sex much. Then again what do I know? Im a fag.

On to other shit. I went thru a small phase of being broke last year and since then I have been a total fucking scrooge with my money. I finally have a little (very little) money to spend and yet I cant bring myself to buy anything new for myself. Ok...I got a pair of really nice Coach sneakers..but thats it. And they were cheap. PS I havent had new footwear since last summer. My clothes suck right about now...but I cant bring myself to buy anything new. Im afraid Im gonna get into fashion again and then lose my job and then I'll be that boy who has nice clothes but no home. Who wants that? I really have to work on not punishing myself. Money comes and goes....

On to more shit. Are you keeping up? Ok. Im still single. Im still not hapy about it. I have been going thru those tacky gay sites where u can meet people and possibly "hook up." I can't keep up with it. It's so wierd. I just can't get turned on anymore. I crave for one person only and I find that to be pointless right now. Yes I am talking about the X. Man I love him...but he treats me like shit now. Yes. We soeak often and exchange our love for each other almost daily...but there is still this HUGE gap in our communication. As usual he chooses to be blind except now that we are no longer official he REALLY drops the ball on A LOT of shit. Ever have that flakey friend who likes to make plans and then they don;t come thru? Thats him. ALL the time.

I figure he is just tired of me and doesn't know it yet..or he doesn't know how to communicate it to me. Either way it's chipping away at me and pretty soon I'll be in "I don't give a fuck mode." Which sux..cuz once I get there it's a done deal. I will not let "love" turn me into a fool again.

Whew!!!!