Pollution.

I decided to go to the corner bodega without my phone. I also walked at a normal pace, and not my usual speed walking madness. I was having one of those, "I want the phone to ring, but I don't want it to ring," kind of day. While walking to the bodega, it felt nice to feel the cold breeze against my face and ears, running through my hair and allowing my mind to not be occupied by whats going on in my phone (apps, twitter, facebook, texting). As I was walking back to my house, I realized that my mind is polluted with a lot of trivial junk...and now is not the time to occupy so much of my time with such.

I have lots to be thankful for, and trust me, I recognize it everyday, but...things could be better. As always, I have a positive outlook on everything, but damn, I'm tired. Not "giving up" tired...I just have hit so many walls and I am..well..I don't know how to put it into words. I just wish things were different. But I know, things happen for a reason and yes, I will overcome all of this mess and it will be great. I can't wait for that day...I think about it all the time.

Please don't take this as a "woe is me.." post. I don't need sympathy..I'm just having an honest moment while listening to Sade's Soldier of Love, CD.

Today, I felt lonely for the first time in years. And its not because I wasn't with my friends or my boyfriend, it was mainly because I miss the person I used to be. I know that we progress and should never aspire to be what we were in the past. However, I just feel so messy and uncomfortable...which of course makes me a little insecure. I try not to look at the rest of the world and compare my living situation with others, because that's kind of insensitive. We all have different paths and obstacles, and at this moment, I can only deal with mine (but my prayers are for all ;).

I guess its a trade off I have to balance. Before this, I was unhappy but with a good amount of money and a successful career. Now, I am a happier person, dating somebody I am crazy about, I love where I live and I don't feel like a misfit here. I had none of those things before this.

Just gotta make it through...I have no other choice.

I have to be in Boston this week to visit family, and I cannot wait to be back already! LOL

Anyhoo, thanks for entertaining my personal thoughts and concerns.

If I can do it, so can you!

xoxo