Thoughts While At Work

I typed this out at work.

I gotta think about getting better everyday. I have to be a better person. I am not where I want to be and I am not with whom I want to be with. Although I shouldn't be “with” anybody. I have nothing to offer right now. I believe in order to have a good relationship both parties have to have an equal amount of “stuff” to bring to each other. “Stuff” being everything that you have: Life experience, self worth/happiness and definitely money stability. Money can really hurt a relationship. Its beyond the materialism of money. It's the fact that you NEED money to live. You can be as optimistic as you like but the fact of the matter is if you live here in the US you better have some damn money to get by. Whether you work for it, get it for free or hustle…money is getting you by.

But yeah..there goes my money rant. I am 27 years old working at a job. A decent job that I like that can turn into a career..but not “the” job I should have. I think Im going to start hustling soon. Im gonna start getting into designing again and mix it up with my photography skills and do that on the side. Im also going to learn how to drive soon and try to take some kind of real-estate class so I can sell property. Can you imagine me selling houses? LOL Makes me laugh too! But yeah..Im good with people and it would be something nice to try.

I haven't been getting much sleep lately because I have been trying to find that internal switch to set off that makes me realize what I am supposed to do to get out of this rut. Im telling you man, your worst enemy is yourself. What people say doesn't matter at the end of the day. What we say to ourselves counts the most. We shouldn't believe other people..we should believe ourselves. I know..so much easier said then done. But it seems so true.

All these thoughts have come about these past few weeks because I am in search of emotional sanity. That sounds so much deeper then what it is! Lol I am technically doing fine. I am healthy I have a home and I have a pretty decent job and I still have my Nina. I just know that I can be a much better person and I am having a hard time trying to choose the right paths. Im getting there tho…..