For My Pleasure.

So as I came out of work I walked by a man playing some sort of Hackie Sack game and he takes a double take at me and blurts out "Nice Do!" He was referring to my hair. He then says, "Why did you get it done that way?" I answered with "For my pleasure." His face was priceless..mouth all open...lol. Thanx.

Reminder
So I have been blessing this blog with many pics this month because I have so much to say that I have been dreading all of the typing I have to do here. So me posting pics reminds how I have been living this month. Just a reminder to everybody who reads my blog..I write here for myself. I periodically go back and read my entrees so I can see how I have progressed. Or how I have fallen behind.

Sex
I have had a lot of sex in the last week. I actually haven't told anybody about all of the sex I have been getting. Even a threesome (is that a real word?). It has all been protected and I am still stingy with kissing and oral sex (my mouth is for eating thank you) because I am very picky with where my mouth goes. Sex isn't the same right now. I am of course still crazy in love with my ex so I m sure that has something to do with it. However there is one person that I did kiss and kiss a lot. I pretty much thru my oral stinginess out of the window for this one. No, I am not interested in dating him...but you cannot deny sexual chemistry (I think thats what it is...LOL).

Dating
Nope.

Still...
I am still very sad. I hold it in well and I do not let it consume me to the point where I can no longer sleep (like Feb thru may). I am having a good time right now. It is a complete 180 for me right now. I go out all the time, I meet new people all the time and I drink now. However I am going to make an effort to stop partying as much because a lot of it is to get away from the pain that I carry. I am a man broken and I sometimes forget how hurt I still am. All it takes is one song....one moment or one picture to set me back for a few hours. All of this hurt all of this regret and sorrow convinces me that I am able to love big. This is a horrible time in my life...but this horribleness has shown me I am capable of giving myself to somebody with all of my heart. I am very grateful. I refuse to let go. I am sure some people think I am having a hard time letting go...but Im not. I have made a conscious decision to hold onto what my heart finds to be true. I feel like I am meant to be with "him." I could be totally wrong and if I am then I will just be a better man for somebody else. However until I am proven wrong this is how I am going to be. Am I going to not date or stop that part of my life? No. Not at all. I am going to continue to do what I have to do until I either win him back...or until it is obvious that I can't. You can't just shake off my love. Its unconditional and I just don't give up that easily.

Future
I need to make some changes in my life. Again..all of the partying (which I love!) is just going to hurt me in the long run. I need to focus and get my money right. Not just that but I am incredibly skinny right now. This is the skiniiest I have been since I was a teenager. So I plan to party less and eat more and hit the gym like 4 times a week. I have done this before so I know I can do this again. My trips to NY have to be more spaced out because it is really hurting my funds. I am trying to move to NY so I have been trying to soak in as much of the city as possible. I have grown to love that place for what it is. Crazy like me.

More....