I know it has been awhile since I have posted anything on my blog, but I have been living too much to do so. Nothing dramatic, Im still single, and I am still employed at the same place (for now), but I also started a class in photography as well.
first of all, being in a school setting is very challenging. I have never been good at school and I can never seem to focus or understand half of the shit that comes out of the teacher's mouth. I try so hard to focus but even with trying to focus, I end up not understanding. It makes more sense now that I know that I have ADD, but it still sucks. I try sit low in my seat so that the teacher doesn't ask me any questions and at times I feel like just leaving the class because I feel dumb. Really..I do. I know that I am not, but its those moments that make me (literally) hot under my collar and I have to put myself in check because I have missed too many opportunity's being afraid and feeling inferior to everybody who can easily pick up a book or listen to an instructor and be able to make sense of it at a speed that I cannot comprehend.
I tried the drug route, but after being on 3 different meds, I can't do it. They work for a few hours, but I crash and my attitude sucks. I sometimes didn't even know who I was when I took them. I would be so rude and disconnected from everybody. I am not that person.
My job went thru some big layoffs at the beginning of the year and we are about to have some more layoffs in the next week or so. This time it may be massive and I am hoping for the best. I have been at my job for over 3 years and I have survived 2 downsizings. I work with some really amazing people and no mater if I keep my job or not, I will be losing some people that are very important to me on a daily basis.
To the person this applies to:
"Do you ever get tired of hearing yourself speak? Do you ever feel like maybe you should do some more listening and less time talking about yourself? Really, when you hang up the phone, do you realize that everything that was said to you (that didn't involve you or ur opinion) was quickly brushed aside by another topic about yourself? Friendships work better when you can share a conversation instead of picking up the phone and putting me thru at least an hour of ...you.
first of all, being in a school setting is very challenging. I have never been good at school and I can never seem to focus or understand half of the shit that comes out of the teacher's mouth. I try so hard to focus but even with trying to focus, I end up not understanding. It makes more sense now that I know that I have ADD, but it still sucks. I try sit low in my seat so that the teacher doesn't ask me any questions and at times I feel like just leaving the class because I feel dumb. Really..I do. I know that I am not, but its those moments that make me (literally) hot under my collar and I have to put myself in check because I have missed too many opportunity's being afraid and feeling inferior to everybody who can easily pick up a book or listen to an instructor and be able to make sense of it at a speed that I cannot comprehend.
I tried the drug route, but after being on 3 different meds, I can't do it. They work for a few hours, but I crash and my attitude sucks. I sometimes didn't even know who I was when I took them. I would be so rude and disconnected from everybody. I am not that person.
My job went thru some big layoffs at the beginning of the year and we are about to have some more layoffs in the next week or so. This time it may be massive and I am hoping for the best. I have been at my job for over 3 years and I have survived 2 downsizings. I work with some really amazing people and no mater if I keep my job or not, I will be losing some people that are very important to me on a daily basis.
To the person this applies to:
"Do you ever get tired of hearing yourself speak? Do you ever feel like maybe you should do some more listening and less time talking about yourself? Really, when you hang up the phone, do you realize that everything that was said to you (that didn't involve you or ur opinion) was quickly brushed aside by another topic about yourself? Friendships work better when you can share a conversation instead of picking up the phone and putting me thru at least an hour of ...you.
I love you, but its not a good thing when I question why I do..
I am not a fan, I am your friend..if you don't know the difference or if there isn't much of a difference in how you treat the 2..then I am all set."
Other then that, I am just fine.
;)
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1 comment:
I so understand u! Keep strong
Mariana
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