They Say...

When people look at my work they all have one statement in common: "You are so talented." Or they say, "You are gonna make it/ You are gonna blow up." etc. Although I really appreciate those opinions, I know that I feel differently. I am at such a low point right now. I know what it is because I have been here before. Its not me being depressed or sad (I am far from that), its me being overly frustrated and feeling extremely stagnant. You know, I have done a lot during this time of being unemployed but I feel like I could have done way more.

Well its too late and I can't turn back time, so I am just going to focus on moving forward. In the meantime, I have to get through this stage in my life. I had an amazing conversation with my friend John, and I told him about my insecurities with my photography. He really hit the nail on the head and told me that I need to own up to being a photographer and commit to my craft. He is so right. I have been tip toeing around my work because I lack a lot of technical skills. I really am deathly afraid of somebody calling me out and exposing me for being just some person with a camera and no real skills. lol

Its crazy how I keep myself from growing by injecting fear into my mind. Seriously, I do it to myself. I am the reason why I succeed and fail. I am my best ally and my worst enemy. Sure, there are other obstacles that I run into, but sometimes I aide that obstacle by not believing in myself. Its such an amazing thing to believe and to have faith in myself. When I am having a low moment, I often don't realize how much power I have over the situation.

Anyhoo, I decided that I am going to own up to my photography and I am aiming to be a photographers assistant so that I can continue to learn my craft. I am not in a rush to get paid for my work. So I think this will put me in the right direction.

-exhale-