Not in love anymore

I had a conversation with my sister the other day and I came to the conclusion that I most likely will never fall in love again. And you know what? I am OK with that. There comes a certain feeling of freedom when you let go of that programmed thought of meeting your "soul mate." There is a hint of sadness..i think or maybe its disappointment. Not sure, but what I am sure of is that being in love isn't for everybody. So to understand and believe that, I fully understand that I am most likely going to be apart of that group of people that will not be married or have some kind of lifetime partner. 

I firmly believe that to love somebody the right way, to be in a relationship that will last, you need to be a whole person. You need to give yourself whole heartedly to the next person and surrender all that you have. You have to contribute to that person and vice versa. Although I am happy with who I am, I know that I have a long way to go and really, I am not getting any younger. 

So love is something I am sure will pass me by. I loved before, but it was short term and not meant to be. So, I at least know the joys of it. I also don't want children. So, yeah...I am letting it all go. I haven't felt lonely in close to 3 years now and I can't imagine why I would need to feel that way again. Been there done that.

On the flip side, I am not denying myself the joy and blessing of being in love with somebody, but I am not holding my breath.  Again, I believe in love, but I do not believe it is meant for everybody. Especially for me. 

I'll cross my fingers for you. ;)