King Kong

You know why this movie got such good reviews? Because the people who reviewed it get paid to sit around and watch movies. That shit was too fucking long. It could have ended right when they got off Skull Island and it would have been enough. But of course what would this remake have been like w/o that beast jumping up and down in NYC? The special effects were nice but it was used so much that it just started to look fake. I loved the stampede part and I fell out when King Kong whooped those dinosaur's asses because he was really knockin' them bitches like a drunk man at a bar who knows how to throw a GOOD punch. Im talkin' bout GOOD hits! Like one of them old man hits...the kind that knock you the fuck out hits. Yeah one of them.

After awhile I really thought the movie was Jurrasic Park with all them fucking dinosaurs running around and shit. Wait...the natives. They were such nasty awful people. It was like the people from the Matrix (not the people living IN the matrix [us?] but the people hiding from them machine things..aw hell..you know what I mean) were turned into black ass zombies. And I dont mean black people...I mean PAINTED black by dirt or some kind of shit. Yeah...prolly their own fecal matter. They just looked like they stank too. And they had this old lady too..she kept talkin all this nonsense in their native tongue. If I was that blonde girl I really would have told her to stop all that crazy talk. "You need to shut that shit down...Im white and I dont speak you." Yeah thats what I would have said. I mean hell..at that point in time they looked they was about to kill her...so what did she have to lose by talkin shit? They didnt speak english no damn way!

Anyhoo, it wasnt a bad movie it was just too fucking long. After awhile I felt sorry for King Kong because he was out of his element and he showed emotion towards that blonde ho. However it was either us or him so he had to go! The one person I wanted to be killed off was that fat fuckin director that got them in that mess to begin with. He would have sold his family up the river for some kind of directorial fame. And of course the black man got killed. Well don't just listen to me...go see that shit for yourself. I really wanted to see Brokeback Mountain but they were playing it in small places that were just too far away. Shit...I have porn at home.



Is that Jack Black? He shoulda died. Its not too late actually...