Everyday I cry. It is a silent cry. Very non-intrusive to the people around me. My soul is bleeding the music that I have been blessed to hold for the past 2 years. I am trapped. Trapped by my own fears and emotions. Scared that every next step I take is going to be in the wrong direction. My worst fear of all is that I have been living a lie. A very Beautiful Lie. Speaking of which... I cant stop playing Melancholy Melodies by all of my favorite artists. Suddenly it becomes clear again that I have to take care of me and no matter how much somebody says they love me...actions overshadow words. Even though I have been let down by many promises of change, I have become that person that prays..i mean really prays...that change will come. During the prayers I see myself as this strong optimistic person..but when all is said and done I feel desperate.
I long for a love that reciprocates. I want that "you still drive me crazy after all these years" kind of love. I need that wild passionate kind of love that makes my heart drip like a candle. I want the kind of love that I can trust.......
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2 comments:
That was so touching to me I have been feeling the same way also..
I've got 10 years on and I'm a year behind on the post but you have just described what has been volleying around in my mind for the last 3 mos.... I just read my thoughts and I'm happy about it.
A little freaked but happy.
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