Acceptance.

It has been raining for days and Im sure you might have heard about the terrible floods we have been having. Along with flooded basements and lost days, I somehow managed to slip into a sudden sadness. The sadness I beleive is apart of my acceptance. The acceptance that no matter how hard I love this man, I can't make him love me back. Never was there an intention to rekindle anything but I have carried this huge desire to be a friend to somebody who I shared my life with for the past few years. As I type this, I am still a little down but I hate to be the person that I have become. Weak with hope.

At around 6:50pm today I noticed this beautiful bright light come thru the window as I mopped the bathroom. It was the sun. The sun finally shined and I felt so inspired. I don't want to be like this anymore and I cannot stress that enough. I have seen the worst of me and I have done things that embarass me to no end. But I understand it is part of the process of getting over what I have been put thru (by myself and by "you").

I will give myself some credit because for every few steps I have taken..I have maybe taken one step back when caught off gaurd. I may not be ready to love again, but I will because thru this relationship I saw what unconditional love looks like...and I would do it over again...even if its with somebody else.