I will post more later today. lol
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Blackout
So after 5 shots of Tequilla and various other Vodka related drinks...I blacked out. Which I had no idea I had blacked out until my friends told me the things I did. Here is what I kkind of remember:
I will post more later today. lol
I will post more later today. lol
Im Still Here
It's 2007 and I am still here. Still here meaning I made it thru and I am going to keep going. I decided that my New Years Resolution would be to focus. I am not going to set myself up for dissapointment anymore by saying shit like "Im going to learn how to drive this year!" or "I am going to move out of Boston this year!" I cant do that anymore. Its like a set up for failure. Instead I am just going to focus on the cards that I have in front of me and take it day by day. That is all I can do.
Yes I still want to get the fuck out of Boston and yes I would still like to learn how to drive. But it will happen if it is meant to be. I would also like to start dating again but it is so hard to do that here. It is some slim fucking pickings man! For real. Something always got to be wrong. The men here are either trying to get me to mess with them on the side while they have a man at home or they are trying to make me their "lady." Im not a bottom fellas (unless u give it up first =P). Stop.
I also learned a huge lesson in regards to the ex at the very end of December. We fell into this situation where we were spending way too much time on each other and having sex quite often. Come to find out he was not as single as he said he was. Such a mess. I know I have professed my love for him on this blog many times but if he fell off the face of the earth I couldnt be any happier.
Enough about that mess. So yes...It's me. All me. Still here.
I will post quite a few of New Year party pics sometime this week.
Smile =)
Yes I still want to get the fuck out of Boston and yes I would still like to learn how to drive. But it will happen if it is meant to be. I would also like to start dating again but it is so hard to do that here. It is some slim fucking pickings man! For real. Something always got to be wrong. The men here are either trying to get me to mess with them on the side while they have a man at home or they are trying to make me their "lady." Im not a bottom fellas (unless u give it up first =P). Stop.
I also learned a huge lesson in regards to the ex at the very end of December. We fell into this situation where we were spending way too much time on each other and having sex quite often. Come to find out he was not as single as he said he was. Such a mess. I know I have professed my love for him on this blog many times but if he fell off the face of the earth I couldnt be any happier.
Enough about that mess. So yes...It's me. All me. Still here.
I will post quite a few of New Year party pics sometime this week.
Smile =)
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Saturday, December 02, 2006
Forward
The reason behind me not blogging the way I normally do is because I have become complacent with my lifestyle. I have had this love hate relationship with Boston for years because most of my good friends end up moving away. I never wanted to feel pressured to move because everybody else is doing it. Im not that kind of person. I mean helllo..Im 27 years old and I JUST started drinking.
However this year sparked something in me to do so. I have endured so much pain and betrayal this year. I have said this plenty of times before but I will say it again, I am not a cryer. But that is what I did from February to about June. Maybe even once in July. lol Its been a really hard and challenging year for me but it has been so important and defining for me as well. I have learned a great deal about myself and I am not just stronger but I am also proud of myself. Proud because I still have my faith. The faith that I m talking about is in regards to myself and other people.
Lately I have been hanging out with some pretty kool people. All young and grown people of color who like to party but hold down jobs and take care of themselves. No fag scandals just really good times. I have been a part of this group of people since I stopped my NYC trips. I have been having such a good time that I have fallen off track. Its easy to lose site of what you have to do when you are having a good time.
I recently drank too much Patrone and had to be helped out of the club. lol I then went home and vomited 6 times. yeah. gross. I then got up a few hours later and went to work for 8 hours. It was miserable...but it woke me the fuck up. I got to stop partying and get on with my plans. I need to start saving again and continue with my goals.
I will post some pics soon.
Miss me,
Mikey
However this year sparked something in me to do so. I have endured so much pain and betrayal this year. I have said this plenty of times before but I will say it again, I am not a cryer. But that is what I did from February to about June. Maybe even once in July. lol Its been a really hard and challenging year for me but it has been so important and defining for me as well. I have learned a great deal about myself and I am not just stronger but I am also proud of myself. Proud because I still have my faith. The faith that I m talking about is in regards to myself and other people.
Lately I have been hanging out with some pretty kool people. All young and grown people of color who like to party but hold down jobs and take care of themselves. No fag scandals just really good times. I have been a part of this group of people since I stopped my NYC trips. I have been having such a good time that I have fallen off track. Its easy to lose site of what you have to do when you are having a good time.
I recently drank too much Patrone and had to be helped out of the club. lol I then went home and vomited 6 times. yeah. gross. I then got up a few hours later and went to work for 8 hours. It was miserable...but it woke me the fuck up. I got to stop partying and get on with my plans. I need to start saving again and continue with my goals.
I will post some pics soon.
Miss me,
Mikey
Monday, October 30, 2006
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Its Back
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
I Miss My Camera
I have many pics I haven't posted because I am obviously full of myself. Notice there was no "lol" inserted. LOL Ok...here are some left overs that I never cared for..but all of a sudden. Once I get my camera back I am going to start shooting other people. Im hoping one person in particular will be my Muse. We'll see...
The shirt is fake. I Placed the "Go Mikey" on it. It is now my mission to get Go Mikey T-Shirts. yay!!!
Yes that is the lady in my life and yes that is the floor of my room and no it is not always that crazy. Just 90% of the time. Her name is Nina. But you should know that already.
The shirt is fake. I Placed the "Go Mikey" on it. It is now my mission to get Go Mikey T-Shirts. yay!!!
Yes that is the lady in my life and yes that is the floor of my room and no it is not always that crazy. Just 90% of the time. Her name is Nina. But you should know that already.
Saturday, October 07, 2006
Another "Catch Up" Blog
Chicago
So I went to Chicago last weekend and had a great time. Chicago is like Boston meets New York. It is super clean (even cleaner then Boston) but is bigger and is open late like New York and yet is just as conservative looking as Boston. The public transportation is just as good as NYC but as easy as Boston. The similarities were insane. After my trip I find myself asking why the hell it took me so long to come here?? There is art all over the downtown area and there are trendy shops all over the place. I heart Chicago! lol
The one thing I didn't care for was the fact that I was the shit. Granted its nice being in a place where people like to look, stare and admire...Im not that full of myself so I would like to do some looking, staring and admiring myself. The only time I really enjoy being watched is when I dance. That's it. I appreciate it when it is done to me but it makes me self conscious after a while because admiring often turns into ugly shades of envy. PS, some man came up to me at a club and told me he would drink my bath water even if I pee'd in it. Exactly.
OK, enough of that. The friend I stayed with is somebody I have had a small crush on for a few months now. I figured I would stay with him since he offered. I wasn't really worried about staying with him because if he turned out to be a different person I would have just stayed with my Milan family in their hotel. Mikey is daring but not stupid. Anyhoo, he showed me around and treated me very well. We did the tourist thing and also hit clubs and restaurants and he even cooked me breakfast everyday and made dinner as well. We chilled and watched movies and even the Sade concert. Now...you know how I am about Sade. That woman taught me how to love thru her music. He even played Esthero all weekend. This man was trying to get me to move in! lol
I have a big crush on this man now and I have a lot of respect for him. Even if we stop talking today, I would always remember that weekend as one of my best. Nothing spectacular happened...it was just so chill and relaxing yet filled with all of this new stuff. I got to meet some of his friends and even 2003 Playboy Playmate of the year Christina. She is also Play Boy's first Latina Playmateof the year. What?? You never named dropped before?? lol Seriously tho...I wouldn't have cared to mention that if I didn't see that as a huge accomplishment. Google her...she is gorgeous and also better looking in person. She is super young too (24).
Dancing.
I decided to take up hip hop dancing classes so I can brush up on my skills. If you see me in a club and dancing within my element, you will see that I am a good dancer. However I love dancing so much that I feel I can be better. Actually I used to be better because I did shows while I was in High School. I was a choreographer for a few dance groups and even started dancing with a company. That was a long time ago and I stopped dancing for a whole year (2005) so I have been spending this whole year trying to get "it" back. People don't understand how much dancing means to me. Dancing is my drug because I really feel high when I let go.
So yeah, I get to the studio and I became very nostalgic. There was something in the air that was so familiar to me. I have no idea how to word it without being corny so we'll just leave it at that. There were a few times during the time I waited that I wanted to get up and leave! I became so intimidated but I realized that this was something I have to conquer. I developed a fear of not being able to absorb choreography. As a former dancer/choreographer that made me feels so ashamed! lol I stayed and although it was hard for me to get the steps, I got most of it and stuck with it as long as I could.
The teacher was cool and I will be coming back next week. Im hoping this opens the door for me to be adventurous enough to take more classes. Not just dancing but kickboxing and photography stuff...maybe.
I still have not had sex since June so I might be able to make it to January! lol
Cross your fingers please.
Fashion.
So a good friend of mine told me that a somewhat mutual friend of ours said on a few occasions that I have no fashion sense. The nerve!!! lol Shit...that is the first time some petty shit has managed to get under my skin. Its not because I am insecure and decided to question myself..because none of that happened. You know why? Because I create fashion I don't follow it. You know what..Im not even going to defend myself. Lets get to the damn point of why I got upset: The person who said this used to dress like me and borrow my clothes until he decided to find ways to steal high fashion labels.
Thats right...grown ass men stealing clothes. Now Im not trying to throw salt on anybody's game but please understand that when you have to resort to stealing shit to put on this facade of you being this high fashion diva..please be aware that the people around you know exactly who you are so please don't look down on them. That nasty/contridictive wannabe high class yet "normal like you" attitude is just as attractive as the insides of your nose after a club night. See what happenes when you live a lie? You start to beleive it!
So I went to Chicago last weekend and had a great time. Chicago is like Boston meets New York. It is super clean (even cleaner then Boston) but is bigger and is open late like New York and yet is just as conservative looking as Boston. The public transportation is just as good as NYC but as easy as Boston. The similarities were insane. After my trip I find myself asking why the hell it took me so long to come here?? There is art all over the downtown area and there are trendy shops all over the place. I heart Chicago! lol
The one thing I didn't care for was the fact that I was the shit. Granted its nice being in a place where people like to look, stare and admire...Im not that full of myself so I would like to do some looking, staring and admiring myself. The only time I really enjoy being watched is when I dance. That's it. I appreciate it when it is done to me but it makes me self conscious after a while because admiring often turns into ugly shades of envy. PS, some man came up to me at a club and told me he would drink my bath water even if I pee'd in it. Exactly.
OK, enough of that. The friend I stayed with is somebody I have had a small crush on for a few months now. I figured I would stay with him since he offered. I wasn't really worried about staying with him because if he turned out to be a different person I would have just stayed with my Milan family in their hotel. Mikey is daring but not stupid. Anyhoo, he showed me around and treated me very well. We did the tourist thing and also hit clubs and restaurants and he even cooked me breakfast everyday and made dinner as well. We chilled and watched movies and even the Sade concert. Now...you know how I am about Sade. That woman taught me how to love thru her music. He even played Esthero all weekend. This man was trying to get me to move in! lol
I have a big crush on this man now and I have a lot of respect for him. Even if we stop talking today, I would always remember that weekend as one of my best. Nothing spectacular happened...it was just so chill and relaxing yet filled with all of this new stuff. I got to meet some of his friends and even 2003 Playboy Playmate of the year Christina. She is also Play Boy's first Latina Playmateof the year. What?? You never named dropped before?? lol Seriously tho...I wouldn't have cared to mention that if I didn't see that as a huge accomplishment. Google her...she is gorgeous and also better looking in person. She is super young too (24).
Dancing.
I decided to take up hip hop dancing classes so I can brush up on my skills. If you see me in a club and dancing within my element, you will see that I am a good dancer. However I love dancing so much that I feel I can be better. Actually I used to be better because I did shows while I was in High School. I was a choreographer for a few dance groups and even started dancing with a company. That was a long time ago and I stopped dancing for a whole year (2005) so I have been spending this whole year trying to get "it" back. People don't understand how much dancing means to me. Dancing is my drug because I really feel high when I let go.
So yeah, I get to the studio and I became very nostalgic. There was something in the air that was so familiar to me. I have no idea how to word it without being corny so we'll just leave it at that. There were a few times during the time I waited that I wanted to get up and leave! I became so intimidated but I realized that this was something I have to conquer. I developed a fear of not being able to absorb choreography. As a former dancer/choreographer that made me feels so ashamed! lol I stayed and although it was hard for me to get the steps, I got most of it and stuck with it as long as I could.
The teacher was cool and I will be coming back next week. Im hoping this opens the door for me to be adventurous enough to take more classes. Not just dancing but kickboxing and photography stuff...maybe.
I still have not had sex since June so I might be able to make it to January! lol
Cross your fingers please.
Fashion.
So a good friend of mine told me that a somewhat mutual friend of ours said on a few occasions that I have no fashion sense. The nerve!!! lol Shit...that is the first time some petty shit has managed to get under my skin. Its not because I am insecure and decided to question myself..because none of that happened. You know why? Because I create fashion I don't follow it. You know what..Im not even going to defend myself. Lets get to the damn point of why I got upset: The person who said this used to dress like me and borrow my clothes until he decided to find ways to steal high fashion labels.
Thats right...grown ass men stealing clothes. Now Im not trying to throw salt on anybody's game but please understand that when you have to resort to stealing shit to put on this facade of you being this high fashion diva..please be aware that the people around you know exactly who you are so please don't look down on them. That nasty/contridictive wannabe high class yet "normal like you" attitude is just as attractive as the insides of your nose after a club night. See what happenes when you live a lie? You start to beleive it!
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Ok, I get it. (revised)
What a year so far huh? Some damage control is in the works right about now because I need to have a smooth start into the next year. I have done pretty well with the whole "walowing" in my own self pitty shit. Or lack there of. I don't know if its because I refuse to sit around and feel like shit or if its because I'm just one numb motherfucker. Is motherfucker one word? It looks wrong...but whatever. You get it. As this year quickly progresses into its final days I am really proud of myself.
I have gone thru A LOT of horrid situations and yet Im still optomistic. I do have worries and I am still weary about a lot of things I am trying to accomplish in the near future...but thats human nature. Im ok, and I am going forward full steam ahead. I have made some serious mistakes this year and i have paid for them all...I really have. This time last year I was not any happier then I am now...I wont elaborate..no need to drag any names thru the mud. Me and my baby Nina are doing just fine right now and we are looking forward to starting a new life by the Spring. No need to put my plans out there anymore because I don't feel like talking about it anymore...I just want it to happen.
I am also not ready to date. This is a huge step for me because I have been making myself available all Summer yet I have said "no" a lot. Naturally I wanted somebody to fill the void of Libra (the ex) not to mention I'm a sex fiend. But it just doesn't feel right because in all honesty I am not completely over him and I dont want to be one of those guys that jumps into another relationship...thats just too many unresloved feelings. I don't need another person to validate the fact that I am a good man and that I am fully capable of loving. Its all in me and in due time somebody will reap the benefits of that fact.
But of course its bigger then the Ex Factor. The source of many of my emotional problems this year has been the realization that I had/have to change as a person. That is not an easy place to be when you are not used to being alone. But I am doing it. These past few weeks I have found myself seperating myself from the people around me. Not because I don't want them in my life but because my thoughts need my full attention. Does that make sense? It has been unintentional...I just started realizing this in these past few days when I started not picking up my phone. Sometimes keeping my mouth shut does me better. bleh.
So here I am..another new day and perfectly fine with doing it all on my own. No dates, no boyfriend, no ex-boyfriend and I am "relatively" celibate. lol
I think Mikey likes it.
I have gone thru A LOT of horrid situations and yet Im still optomistic. I do have worries and I am still weary about a lot of things I am trying to accomplish in the near future...but thats human nature. Im ok, and I am going forward full steam ahead. I have made some serious mistakes this year and i have paid for them all...I really have. This time last year I was not any happier then I am now...I wont elaborate..no need to drag any names thru the mud. Me and my baby Nina are doing just fine right now and we are looking forward to starting a new life by the Spring. No need to put my plans out there anymore because I don't feel like talking about it anymore...I just want it to happen.
I am also not ready to date. This is a huge step for me because I have been making myself available all Summer yet I have said "no" a lot. Naturally I wanted somebody to fill the void of Libra (the ex) not to mention I'm a sex fiend. But it just doesn't feel right because in all honesty I am not completely over him and I dont want to be one of those guys that jumps into another relationship...thats just too many unresloved feelings. I don't need another person to validate the fact that I am a good man and that I am fully capable of loving. Its all in me and in due time somebody will reap the benefits of that fact.
But of course its bigger then the Ex Factor. The source of many of my emotional problems this year has been the realization that I had/have to change as a person. That is not an easy place to be when you are not used to being alone. But I am doing it. These past few weeks I have found myself seperating myself from the people around me. Not because I don't want them in my life but because my thoughts need my full attention. Does that make sense? It has been unintentional...I just started realizing this in these past few days when I started not picking up my phone. Sometimes keeping my mouth shut does me better. bleh.
So here I am..another new day and perfectly fine with doing it all on my own. No dates, no boyfriend, no ex-boyfriend and I am "relatively" celibate. lol
I think Mikey likes it.
Monday, September 11, 2006
That Shirt.
I had to do OT for work on Saturday and I of course was running late. The good thing about working on a Saturday is that you can wear whatever the hell you want. I decided to wear one of my favorite little black t-shirts that use to belong to my ex. I never gave it back to him when we separated. It looked so good on him and I am sure he would love to get it back. But he has A LOT more of my stuff so he would never ask for it back for fear I would ask for my shit back. LOL Same goes for me. He has this ONE very fitted black button up shirt of mine (that I would really like to wear again!) but of course I wont ask for it back because he will then ask me for his t-shirt back. I know it! Lol
Anyways, I was looking alllll over the place for this t-shirt and I couldn’t find it. I exhausted all of the places it could have been when I realized that I hadn’t seen it since before I went to NYC. My heart sank for a sec because I knew that they probably went to the same place my Adidas went to….. Need I say more? I was devastated for a few moments and I let it go. It’s a t-shirt, I have other memories, material and mental. As I was solemnly looking for something else to wear I found it! I found the tshirt. I then had an emotional moment..i just began smelling the shirt and started to cry a bit. It was very brief and I proceeded to put it on like I originally intended to. I decided to wear my snake skin shell toe Adidas and as I looked in the mirror I saw that the shirt didn’t match the sneaker. So after all of that mess I decided to wear a different shirt. I ended up looking pretty good that day.
Honestly, I am happy that I didn’t lose that shirt. Every time I put it on I think about him. Not obsessively and it’s not like I walk around wearing it like a badge…its just a thought that goes thru my brain about him wearing it on the train in NYC on a very hot summer night. It was 4 of us. Me, 2 of my best friends (ever) and my (ex) man in Manhattan. It’s definitely worth hanging on to. Not for me trying to hold onto him (at all), but for the memory of 3 very important people in my life all together having a great time and looking damn good.
It was very innocent then...I love those times and I am looking forward to more of those in the future.
On another note I ordered them Adidas. I refuse to let some fucking crack head take my shit and just have me sit around and sulk about it.
Hi.
The "Shirt."
My Adidas.
Anyways, I was looking alllll over the place for this t-shirt and I couldn’t find it. I exhausted all of the places it could have been when I realized that I hadn’t seen it since before I went to NYC. My heart sank for a sec because I knew that they probably went to the same place my Adidas went to….. Need I say more? I was devastated for a few moments and I let it go. It’s a t-shirt, I have other memories, material and mental. As I was solemnly looking for something else to wear I found it! I found the tshirt. I then had an emotional moment..i just began smelling the shirt and started to cry a bit. It was very brief and I proceeded to put it on like I originally intended to. I decided to wear my snake skin shell toe Adidas and as I looked in the mirror I saw that the shirt didn’t match the sneaker. So after all of that mess I decided to wear a different shirt. I ended up looking pretty good that day.
Honestly, I am happy that I didn’t lose that shirt. Every time I put it on I think about him. Not obsessively and it’s not like I walk around wearing it like a badge…its just a thought that goes thru my brain about him wearing it on the train in NYC on a very hot summer night. It was 4 of us. Me, 2 of my best friends (ever) and my (ex) man in Manhattan. It’s definitely worth hanging on to. Not for me trying to hold onto him (at all), but for the memory of 3 very important people in my life all together having a great time and looking damn good.
It was very innocent then...I love those times and I am looking forward to more of those in the future.
On another note I ordered them Adidas. I refuse to let some fucking crack head take my shit and just have me sit around and sulk about it.
Hi.
The "Shirt."
My Adidas.
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