Lately, I have been thinking about...dating. (in my head) I have been kind of anti dating for close to a year now. Or maybe more. But...I thought of my last relationship and realized that I can't let that be the last relationship I ever have. I can't let that be the last time I fall in love. I don't want to take anything away from it or make it seem as if my last ex wasn't worthy, but I have so much love to give and I am sure that somebody out there deserves to have a good man. As do I.
I am not desperate nor am I going to do any searching...Im just letting myself know that I am finally open to the possibility. See, I mentioned here earlier this year that I believe I may never fall in love again and that I am ok with it. But once I thought about my relationship resume, I had a change of heart. lol
In that last relationship, I gave everything that I had but it didn't work. I am and always have been ok with it and have always known it was a great contribution to me as a person. All failed relationships have made me better for the next . Although my ex's will always have a place in my heart... there has to be more. And there will be...I know it. At first I believed that I would just move right along..but somehow I just got comfortable with the idea of being happily single forever. But that may come from the fact that my last relationship put me thru a lot.
Unknowingly, I shut down a little and my heart may have become a little lazy. However, I refuse to become a victim of love and war. I am too strong for that. My view of self worth is sometimes skewed because I forget that every aspect of my life counts. I deserve to give and receive love again.
Its just gonna happen when it happens.
Posts
