Boston + Winter = Funeral

Thats right kiddies, Boston is like a big funeral all winter. Sexy aint it? This weekend was extremely long and I don't think I verbally spoke to anybody. Well not totally but I don't remember having more then 3 convo's all lasting 5 minutes or less. The usual suspects were pretty much out of reach this weekend and I made use of my room. I cleaned it, took a nap in it and watched TV too!

I have a lot of things to accomplish this year and on this 8th day I feel like I havent done anything. But it has only been 8 days! I started 2 things already: gym (physical fitness) and a small plan to get my credit (monetary fitness?) together. I am usually not trusting of other people unless they are in my very small circle. Recently I feel like my circle has been tainted and I just can' put my finger on it. So...Im just going to keep it moving. What else can I do?

Is it bad to not care for anybody anymore? Am I that damaged that when people are intentionally unavailable to me I find them to be disposable? Was I that lonely as a child that I have no imediate fear of cutting everything off? I ask myself these questions a lot because I wish I were not like this. I hate to admit this but I am not happy. I hate being unhappy at the begining of the year because it just really drags the winter. My B-day is coming up soon and since it looks like I am about to be newly single (insert sad face) I have to find something to cover up the humiliating and very hurtful Bday I had last year. Anyhoo....it is what it is right? Im use to all this...so don't worry I am not going to jump off a bridge. Im just going to get stronger and get all of this out of the way.

What else am I gonna do? I have to be a babe for the summer dammit! There's a lot of work to do..chop chop!

One of my resolutions was to meet people in different places and actually have friends to call. I think my phone only knows how to dial 3 numbers. Seriously my phone rang about 4 times this weekend and it was from 2 people. Just think...you might get the chance to have a moody muthafucka like me as a friend this year!! Aaaooow!