Not a Pretender

Its too late in the game to feel sad. That is what I just said to myself...out of nowhere. I have been surrounded by many problems these past few weeks. My sister is going thru a very personal crisis and has called me sobbing over some really vile shit. I wont get into that. I have been havng my own problems with my significant other, and 2 of my good friends seem to be in the company of drugs lately. I am leaving a lot of details out but its really not worth mentioning. Everybody has their moment... good or bad.

I am going to enjoy myself regardless of what is going on around me. Im going to practice letting go of negative feelings because I have too much to do with "self" right now. I am developing these awful pains in my hands and forearms which is most likely carpal tunnel syndrome. It hurt to jerk off the other day!!! lol But what can I do? I have to get better. No other choice.

I love myself and I love my life. Am I happy? No. But im not miserable and I look forward to being happy...some day. lol Happiness is so what you make it. Im happy when I drink my 3 dollar protien shake and Im happy when I make the right decisions...like buying my 3 dollar protein drink. Everything really adds up and maybe I need to START looking at what is right with me. I am one difficut muthafucka...but I am loved and I love others who love me.

I know this is out of left field for me but so what. This is my moment and I want to share it. Aaoowww!!



My sister Ivette. See the resemblance?