Oh Summer

This was my last weekend in NYC for the summer and I have many mixed emotions. In a sense I feel like this year is over but of course its not. Its going to get harder. No more hot days beating the streets of NYC with the people who have sustained me this year. Up until the summer I was a huge emotional mess. Why mention the reason? This summer showed me how to open up and be myself again. I have met some cute guys and have considered dating a few but for one reason or another it just wasn't meant to be. I also was able to recapture my passion for dance. How bout I just list the things about this summer that have helped me in one way or another?

Genuine people who have showed me how to have a good time.

My Boston crew: Johnny, Danny, Patrice, Byron and Stephanie

My NYC crew: Harvey, Brandon, John and Frowen (and the many people I have met thru you 2), Eric, Carlos and Oso.

My eyes were definitely opened this year and a lot of people have come and gone and a lot of true colors were shown in such a short amount of time. A lot of fakers and fronters and plenty of people who bit off more then they could chew. Good sex, bad sex, a yearning to be wanted for more then just my body, self realizations, the hardest HIV test I ever took (negative but still..) hot club nights, a lot of booze, Richie, day breaking, getting over (and still) my ex, a lot of shopping, sushi, cooking, many many trips and accepting my weight problem. There is more but those are the ones that stand out.

Individual shout outs:

Johnny, thank you so much for taking me out of the house those first few times. Life was harder then you know before you came a long and showed me I could go out in Boston. And of course for introducing me to Patrice and Danny.

John, we finally met! Talk about MySpace networking? I enjoy you profusely and thank you for introducing me to Frowen and the rest of your eclectic friends. I admire and live thru you and Frown's relationship and I can only hope that things progress for you two. And of course I hope I am there for it.

Stephanie, thank you for being apart of my "coming back to reality" process. Your light and friendly attitude was such a needed breath of fresh air. We can drive anywhere and never stop talking.

Brandon, thank you for being patient and for being a real friend. I love you with all of my heart and you are one of my best investments. Its been what..7 years? Here is to another million (do u think we'll still be hot then? lol)

Harvey, you are and have been the brother I never had. I don't know where I would be or how I would have survived these last 4 years without you. Thank you for being one of the most constant people in my life (especially in these times). Let us now focus.

China, we can not talk for large periods of times but I know that I can count on you and you can always count on me. I could have died that rainy weekend but you came to my rescue. You may never know how much you helped me that day but I still think about it and it makes me emotional just knowing how selfless you can be. That prom forever changed our lives.

Daland, how weird is it for me to type that name? Im so use to typing the Ex,"Him" or any other variation. You have loved me like no other and yet you have hurt me just the same. Not sure if you were trying to undo all of the love that we built but whatever the case may be...I don't have it in me to hate you. Thank you for showing me that I can be very weak, emotionally and mentally and that I don't know it all. Realizing that has made me a better man because those are mistakes I will not make again. I will love again and thanks to you I know how sweet it is and I know how to cook, clean and put my needs (when appropriate) to the side for the next man I am with.

Ivette, my sister. This is the first time ever that we have been able to see eye to eye on many things and this is the first time I felt like we are related. I hope we continue this relationship. After all..we are stuck with each other.

This has been the longest, hardest year of my life and it is not over yet. I have a few more battles to conquer before this year ends. But so far, so good right?