More and more..

I am trying to get as much as possible out of the studio time. This is an acquaintance of mine that I have known for 11 damn years. Every photo of him was so good, I don't even know if I am posting the best pics. I originally wanted a high key shoot but realized that the pictures looked better with some shadowing.

I feel like high key shots look best with women. Just my opinion.

=)

Best thing ever

She makes me a believer.

Thank you, Mrs. Clinton for reminding  me why I am a democrat and why I love this country.

Seeing this really makes me understand that at some point in my life, sooner then later, I need to contribute to society in a bigger fashion and that giving up is not an option.

When you want to party...

...these people are essential! In 2006, when I went thru all of my life changes (its all been blogged! lol), these people helped me get my mind right. Nothing deep, we just partied and shared some really great times. I really love them for that year and I had to get them in one shoot. Not just for the practice, but for the memory.

I still have A LOT of shit to learn about studio lighting (and everything else), but I am determined.

;)

Gorgeous!

I have a lot of good shots of this model. Her name is Kaelyn, she was so easy to work with and the camera LOVED her. We used an enormous soft box. It was hand made and was about 8 feet tall and 8 feet wide! You could stand in front of the soft box and the light would be unaffected. Its like it would cut right thru you.

One thing that I noticed about this shoot, is that I REALLY need a new lense and I have to start doing a white balance before I shoot. I say that because the pictures are properly lit, but they look kind of flat.Something is missing in these pics...the vibrance is lost somewhere.

Anyhoo, I think that I have been doing a swell job considering my bum lense. lol

So I give myself a pat on the back!

It's Starting

I'm starting to get scared. lol

This move is coming real quick and other then the desire and drive, I don't have a place to live or to work. Technically, it still is a little soon to find either of the two for October. But still, September is coming and that is when everything is going to have to get done. I can start to feel how "to the wire" everything is going to be.

I also have a list of people I need to spend time with before I leave. So much to do...

See.

This is why I have given up dating in boston:

(This is an Instant Message convo that I had with somebody that I barely know.)

a (11:36:58 PM): mikey wen can I egt my beso?
g0mikey (11:37:15 PM): i have no idea
a (11:39:05 PM): well pencil me in
g0mikey (11:39:15 PM): lol
g0mikey (11:39:22 PM): i dont do dates anymore
a (11:39:45 PM): fo real
a (11:39:51 PM): lol
g0mikey (11:39:52 PM): not in boston
g0mikey (11:39:58 PM): i went on my last one yesterday
a (11:41:14 PM): oh damn he got u
g0mikey (11:41:23 PM): was a total asshole
g0mikey (11:41:31 PM): i been having bad dates all summer
g0mikey (11:41:33 PM): so im thru
a (11:41:38 PM): fo real
a (11:41:50 PM): nah u didn't give me a chance
g0mikey (11:41:56 PM): I can't
g0mikey (11:41:57 PM): sorry
g0mikey (11:42:06 PM): im done with summer dating in boston
a (11:42:11 PM): das wassup
g0mikey (11:42:13 PM): im gonna wait till i move to do that again
g0mikey (11:42:19 PM): nothing personal
a (11:42:29 PM): its cute u was no1 anyways
g0mikey (11:42:44 PM): um..it wasnt personal
g0mikey (11:42:55 PM): but clearly, u just made it that way.

Now this myspace mesage is from somebody who has been asking for XXX pics and just being too much and just nasty. We live close to each other and he may have forgotten..but when we first started chatting a few months ago..he wanted to meet. So u put his desire to meet along with his desire to see XXX pics of me, and to know about certain areas of my body, and guess what the fuck I am going to think? Ok....read on:

Original Message -----------------From: LAME Date: Aug 19, 2008 12:28 AM
How come you never talk to me?

Original Message -----------------From: Go Mikey Milan!Date: Aug 19, 2008 12:30 AM
because im not into u.

Original Message -----------------From: LAME Date: Aug 19, 2008 12:42 AM
I was never looking to hook up dude...Besides you arn't even my type...Though your bod hair and ass are hot...thats all

See, you can't even reject somebody without them going on the offense.

PS, he has never seen my arse, so I have no idea why he thinks its "hot." gross.

I am so done. lol

Mirror, Mirror...

"when I dont have the strength, im just a mirror of what I see.."

That line has always struck a chord with me, Its from the Isley Brothers cover of At Your Best, sung by Aaliyah. Right now, I am feeling like that with where I live and who I surround myself with. I have a lot of mixed emotions about leaving this city, but one thing is for sure, I am allowed to feel good about being here now because I know I may not be here in another month and a half. That's it. If there wasn't a plan and I was just resigned to living here, I would be a different person. Probably unhappy and bitchy. lol

I walk around this neighborhood and I look at my dog, beautiful surroundings, nice neighbors and realize that no matter how tired I am of this lifestyle, it has been good to me and I am really going to miss it with all my heart, but change is the best remedy for complacency.

As far as people are concerned, I don't have it in me to give extra, I can't pull teeth and I can't make myself care for recklessness anymore. I have been disregarded and disrespected a few times this summer and I will say that it stung at first, but it no longer does. I now meet disregard and disrespect with a firm handshake because its easy to throw the trash out. Harsh, I know, but at this point, I can't do what I am trying to do AND figure other people out. Sorry, not gonna happen.

Wanna pull my ears? ha! Thats a dirty joke...I hope somebody gets it.

Studio Time

So I have been saying that I am going to get into the studio and figure out how to use all the equipment bla bla bla. Well, I did..sorta. I went into the studio and figured I would just use myself as the subject...to save myself the embarassment of looking like a damn fool in front of a model. Yes..! I am paranoid like that!

Anyhoo, it was some parts easy, most parts hard. If you have a keen eye, or are a photographer with studio lighting knowledge, you will see the simple flaws in my pics. Its all good tho. I will get there..I am determined. However, I cannot do this using myself as the subject again. It was quite painful being everything in this shoot.

Here are a few of the shots I took:










Snap for the kids! lol






;)

-Sigh-

So far this summer, I have gone out on a few dates with a few different people. I have had multiple dates with some but they all end up the same: they lose interest in me. Yes, its true, I am human. lol

I do not understand why that happens, I am genuinely nice and honest. I am sure it is something I am doing but I really have no idea. So, I am not going to dwell on it...but it is something that I need to be aware of if I ever want to be of interest to anybody.

And please, don't give me that "how could somebody like you have trouble dating?!" Its so fucking agravating. EVerytime I hear that I seriously want to slap that person to sleep. Ugh

Anyhoo, I havent shaved in over 2 weeks because I want to do this self photo shoot with a full face of hair. It looks really crazy. I cant wait to get this over with already.

Boooo

Lady GaGa

What I thought was another dance song from just another hungry plastic white girl turned out to be a lot more. "Just Dance," from Lady GaGa is a good song but also a good front for a hardcore NYC artist who has the kind of street cred that we haven't seen since possibly the 80's. After reading her bio, I cannot wait to see what else she hasin store. Here is a performance piece from her page:



http://ladygaga.com/news/

Don't just take my word for it, read up on her. I gaurantee you will feel refreshed.

Links

So I decided to add links to my page. Well, I didn't just decide, I just didn't know how to do it until now! Anyhoo, if you have a link to my page on your page, let me know and I will gladly add yours.

-Mikey-

Obsession.

"fIa [10:08 P.M.]: for some reason some of his pictures reminds me of you http://fsagat.blogspot.com/
G0Mikey [10:20 P.M.]: really??
G0Mikey [10:20 P.M.]: why?
fIa [10:20 P.M.]: some of his poses reminds of you
G0Mikey [10:21 P.M.]: ugh...i LOVE him
G0Mikey [10:21 P.M.]: he is my obsession!"

I am obsessed with this man. I blame this on my trip to Atlanta. The friend that I stayed with introduced me to this Francois Sagat via a hot calendar. Ever since then, I have been so intrigued by him. Not just because of his beauty, but because he is an artist. Without words, this man creates gorgeous pieces of art with nothing but his skin and raw sexual power. You have to see it to understand what I am talking about. He also is a porn star..but I have yet to see any of his porns.

Check out his blog, but be warned, this is NOT suitable for work!!!!



http://fsagat.blogspot.com/

Check Him Out!

This is somebody that has graced my blog in pictures and mentions, throughout the years and I love him dearly! This is my TLC (T-Boz, Lefteye, Chilli!) singing partner and club hopping buddy. He introduced me to Long Island Ice Tea's, Midori Sours, Tequila shots and all types of drunk carrying on. He is one of Boston's Gay Scene's finest socialites (u know the person that even knows the people u dont like..lol) and one of the nicest guys you will ever meet. Seriously. Always smiling and always fun to talk to.

He has a blog that is dedicated to his fitness goals and asked that I share his link. I was a little shocked because I didn't think he was really into blogging. But its great and I support him.

His name is Johnny, aka JK aka Mister JonKat aka MisterJonKat aka Ki Ki.

Go to his blog, see what its about, leave a comment and share it with your friends.

http://misterjk.blogspot.com/

or you can visit his youtube page: http://www.youtube.com/user/MisterJonKat

Enjoy!

Low Key

This week was the first and only week we got to work with a male model. As you can see, it was easy to work with this model, as he has very conventional good looks. AKA, hot! lol

I think I overheard him saying he was 20...yikes! Either way, at that age, if he takes modeling serious, it can definitely open many doors for him. He seems sweet as he is handsome. So yeah, here it is...my first official "Low Key" setting in my photography class.

I need to up my game with the studio access. I know I keep saying that I am going to get in, but something always comes up. This week I will try my hardest to get in there and take some shots of myself. That way I can kill 2 birds with 1 stone: I can have some amazing pics of myself! LOL AND most importantly, I will be able to know what I am doing when I finally shoot somebody on my own without the help of a teacher.

Guess who is skinnier then you?

;)

@ Roxy

My friend Johnny (my immediate right) and I, chillin at Roxy next to some people we were probably talking about (or not). Funny how life works.

I could be wrong, maybe we know them..or Johnny knows them since he is quite the socialite. But either way..we were tore up in front of the ladies bathroom (u can kind of see the ladies sign by my head) talking about everybody that walked by.

PS, I hate full frontal pics!

lol

High Key

So I did my first high key shoot. The model was very easy to work with and we actually are former coworkers. Small world.

I am going to try and get into the studio this week before class. I am determined to learn this shit and get as many shoots as I can before September.

Just a little much.

Right now, I am in a somewhat suspended state. I still am unemployed and very bored. However, I feel like it is too late to find a job. Why? Because I really do plan to move to NYC in October and starting a new job now would serve no purpose other then getting a little more money for the next 2 months. My money situation right now is pretty good and I don't need a job for money purposes (for now).

My photography class is going well, but the lighting and studio work is a little more complicated then I thought. So I don't want to rush into the studio and break something. After this week, I should hopefully be able to go into the studios on my own. Until then, I have the nothing to do but go to the gym. My body is coming a long pretty decent..I am getting even more lean then before and I have been told a few times that my arms look good. But shit! I am skinny!

So yeah, I believe that I am on the right track, but I am still kind of waiting for things to come along. I think its just the long days and weeks of nothing. I really have nothing to do and nobody to hang out with most of the time. My roommate, who is one of my best friends, is pretty much the only person I can hang out and party with..but even that has its setbacks...ugh..I will not elaborate. But other then the setbacks, I sometimes feel like a burden and needy. I just have so much time on my hands...I feel like I am wasting it but I don't know what else I can do. It can be overwhelming sometimes because I truly like to be busy and working alongside my peers.

I keep telling myself that this is temporary and that I will get back to normal. This, for me, is not normal. It will be a fine fucking day when I have a job and am not stuck in limbo.

One of the best things about losing my job, was that I am losing the fear and anxiety of this move. I had so much going on for me. A good job with amazing promotions and bonuses, a lot of respect, I was very important and always a favorite no matter what department I worked for and according to one of my reviews, people loved to be around me (I am personable!)...I would think about moving and would think about all of those things I would have to leave behind and I admit it, I would be so scared that I would work harder.

But its gone now..it was taken away from me and no matter how much harder I could have worked..it wouldn't have mattered. It is what it is and I am not mad at what happened. One thing is for sure..I am not scared anymore. I just want it to happen already.

I cant do this city anymore..I cant. I love it..I do, but I don't belong here anymore. I don't know how to explain it, but it just doesn't feel right to be here. Ugh..ok..I will stop the bitching. Clearly..I have enough time for it.

I went out on a date on Tuesday and it went well. I usually do not mess around on the first date, but on this date I did. I felt a little tacky, but whatever. Hopefully we will reach another date, but I wont hold my breath..this is Boston.

Boo bitch bye!

Yes, It's True!

So I have been intercourse free since November of '07, and I think I am going to implode. lol I haven't had sex on a regular basis for quite a few years. Even in my last relationship, I seemed to never get any. So, I do not know what my real sex drive is like because I am too picky to have it with just anybody. I have come close a few times this year, but no cigar.

I was talking to somebody for a couple of weeks, but as soon as I was realizing we weren't a good match, he cut me off. So, even though I was having some doubts, him cutting me off made me want him more. You know, cuz you always want what you cant have. I don't think we had any sexual energy. Sux, he is smart and very sexy. I also think he didn't want to introduce me to any of his friends. Just a feeling.

About 2 weeks ago, I ended up hooking up with 1 half of a couple. I know...scandalous but they had been hounding me for months. I am not one for threesomes as I have had 2 of them and they were both wack. I had told them a few times that I would have to pass because I only found one of them to be attractive. I guess after some reasoning, the hot one was allowed to come over and "play." Ok, honestly, that was the most sexual chemistry I have had since I hooked up with that hot flight attendant from London (i never posted that). BTW, the flight attendant from London was the best sex I have EVER had.

Anyhoo, me and the Hot Guy didn't have intercourse because we had spent so much time doing everything else, that he had to go home and cook dinner for his boyfriend. I was kool with it because it satisfied my appetite for the moment. We were dripping with sweat, chest to chest, slipping and kissing like we were hungry. It was full of heavy breaths and grunts from the pleasure and pain from biting each other. It was almost too much..I felt a little savage. It was one of those moments that if he were to slap me, I would have been even more turned on. lol

We spoke for a bit before and after and he said that him and his BF have an open relationship. Their rules were to not do something with somebody who wasn't approved of, never to do anything without telling the other partner first, and to never have any sleepovers. This kind of goes a long with my previous blog "Porn and Open Relationships."

But still...its like dinner without the main course. Like a diet that has gone on too fucking long! Ugh.!

Nice shoes, wanna fuck?

I kid, I kid!!

Class Assignment

This was the model that was sent to us by an agency for a class assignment. In person, she is prettier and she glows. However, she does not have your typical model looks. She has unconventional beauty, and that is hard to capture. I admit that I did not try hard to get good shots because I was more concerned with the technical portion of it. I just took my pics to get it out of the way.