So This Weekend...

It fuckin snowed. Can you beleive it? Before Halloween...it snowed! I really hate that shit man. When I moved here from Cali I was not excited to finally see snow in person. I looked at it like..."o...its snowing." Not upset but not excited either. But fuck it now..i get upset. Fuck Snow!!!!

So yeah I just got full confirmation that one of my friends is not healthy for me. I still care for him because I honestly want to beleive that he is a good person...because that is how he portrays himself. But what I really saw this weekend (and have been seeing for quite some time now) is that he really is all about himself. Himself his drugs and his way. His way being getting what he wants at everybody elses expense. I say his drugs because we have a mutual friend that used to be an addict but yet he is very carefree about sharing them with him.

I know his train of thought though and of course his excuse will be that this friend of ours is grown and can make decisions for himself bla bla bla. This is true. It still don't make it right. If you leave a steak in the middle of the floor for an hour...do you think that a well trained pet isnt going to eat it? I mean anything is possible...but lets be real...c'mon. I am not saying that our mutual friend will become an addict again...but he has started some new drugs. So yeah...

I have paid a lot of attention...I really have, because you are the company that you keep. Right.

Heeeey!

So it has really been awhile since I said I would update this..i think. I have had a very busy few weeks. Think old skool Trannie from LA, Search for a new roommate, passport madness, non speaking turned to speaking situations with good friends and getting kicked out of a Halloween party (twice) that was being thrown by my previous job. I know I missed something! LOL

I have so much to comment on that Im just not going to. Thats right. I'll just get down to the lesson I have learned in the last few weeks: Selfish people don't change. Thats right people! If you have a friend that is close to you that has that nasty selfish trait, realize right now that they will not change. They might modify their behaviour...but the selfishness will not go away. Yap.

Sorry

Why is this word so hard to say for some people? If you did something wrong be a fucking man (or woman) and appologize. And just to clear things up...admitting to something wrong is NOT the same as appologizing.

This blog is dedicated to a few people right now.

Very Interesting Evening...

I have to really sit and think about this next blog before I type it. I really dont want to miss anything out because I have some good reads! lol but yeah..im leaving this blog as a reminder to myself. Trust me....you'll like it. Just think...tall volley ball playing Fem Queen from LA who doesnt tuck..... riiiiight.

Last Name Queen, First Name Judy!

This is true. She had applied for loan and got denied. I wonder why? lol for those of you who get this Im sure you are falling out. I know I did.



Girrrlll!!!!

Vertigo

Yes kiddies I am suffering from vertigo...again. My glands are swollen too. Not sure if I am just noticing it now for the first time or if this is new. The swolleness that is. I just wanna make it to Costa Rica dammit!!

Call me...k?

Heeeeeey!

So my job took away certain web sites from us. Us being the employees of course. So yeah..I cannot post blogs from work anymore nor can I check my outside emails or Myspace. Bastards!! All of them. It’s soooo not busy anymore. When I had to take like 80 plus phone calls a day I had full access. But now im taking 30-to50 calls a day. Mind you I work 10 hours a day. So 30 to 50 calls aint shit. So I sit in between these f-ing calls thinking about what I can do next. Mess. Life at a call center.

Recently while at work I had an incident in the restroom that had me run to my cubicle in embarrassment. When I go to the lil boys room I refuse to use the urinals unless they have dividers! I will not stand there with my unit hanging around for somebody else to see. Especially when I am peeing!! Sorry but that shit is too personal. My job has no dividers so I always go into the stalls. So I go into the bathroom and head to the stall as usual and was handling my business. I noticed there was somebody in the next stall handling their business too. But they was not peeing…feel me? Lol right.

So after I was done I went to get some toilet paper to wipe the seat (hey! At least I wipe it!) and as I was pulling the toilet paper it came off of the rolling thing and fell to the floor. Not only did it fall to the floor but it rolled over into the next stall! I was still holding on to the sheet part of the toilet paper so I started pulling it so I can get the roll back into my stall. It didn’t work. I kept pulling that shit and I started sweating because the person in the next stall was quiet which made me super embarrassed and nervous. Just as I was about to apologize and run out I gave the roll one hard tug and it flew into my stall. I picked that shit up so fast, wiped the seat with a wad of paper flushed it immediately and ran out.

I sit next to the restroom so I ducked into my cubicle and collected myself. I never got to see who was in that stall. What if he was dead!? Lol Ok that’s dramatic. Im actually typing this at work. Im going to email it to myself and cut and paste this bitch. On a random note our new roommate is moving out already. I think he can’t afford to live there because he has been looking for a second job these past few weeks. Oh well. He’s dirty anyways. I can’t stand a motherfukka that can’t clean up after himself w/o somebody telling them. Grow up bitch! Shit.

On with the interviewing!!

Hello Mike.

There was a point in time in my life where I would not allow people to call me Mikey(though some people were relentless). I thought Mikey was too young sounding and it made me feel like a damn baby. Mike was not a baby. At all. So yeah when I got to that point in my life where I was trying to find myself and get myself together I didn't have to worry about Mikey VS Mike because I had like 2 friends for like 2 years and they called me Mike. I took a break from everything: Clubs, people, SHOPPING and dating.

Well when I came back from my hiatus I felt like a new person. I really did. So....I decided to go by Mikey. lol It went well with my brand new views on self and other people around me. Everybody I met from there on would get my introduction as Mikey. It was great. I have been going by Mikey for about 4 years now. Don't get me wrong I don't have a split personality, Im just feeling very Damita Jo about the situation!

I am a cold person. I didn't grow up with family values because my family didn't have any. So I have always had low tolerance with people. I didn't (and still don't) take any shit from my family so why should I take it from others? Well I changed that way of thinking for a while. Like 4 years. It's time to change again.

And it feels right.

It's not gonna stick because I am a happier person when I am not as cold ...but right now I need to be this way. There are some people that I adore who have been walking all over me and that is not gonna work. The people that I cut off before were really shitty fuckin people and they still are but some of the people I am cutting off now are not. They are good people...but nobody is w/o their flaws. However I will only suffer for so long under somebody else's flaws. I would rather be alone.

A quote I am currently entertaining:

"Change is coming. I don't kiss ass so don't get me confused...I am the bridge you need to cross over...so make sure to clean your fucking feet when you cross it because I like to throw bitches off. "

Mike is back.

And Another One.

You know somebody is wrong when they pussy foot around questions. You also know when people are not "too proud" of what they are doing when they conveniantly leave details out of conversations.

Im still on cut off mode so its all good. Maybe I'm crazy but I have standards for the people I keep around me.


Bye.

Oh Behave!

They havent taken my internet option off ...YET. So I am blogging from work. Its been very slow lately and the days are soooooooo much longer. I am going on a boat cruise this evening courtesy of my job. Amen to free food. So yeah....I have so much on my mind that its hard to get any of it out.

Im sefish. Very selfish and very stubborn. I felt like I was getting better with those two things but I think Im starting to regress ...but in a big way. OMG! I think I need to be punished! lol

I need new clothes. Maybe if I get a new look my attitude wont suck as much. Lately I have been treating people the way I feel I have been treated by friends I used to have around me: despensable. However I like the clothes I have now...I just need some new ones! Im trying to re-invent myself in a lot of ways. Sometimes you just have to just shed.

I have made some decisions Im sure I will feel bad about but I wont regret them becasue they were right at the moment. Life goes on.

So yeah I need some new clothes! If I can keep this weight on Im gonna turn into a tight fag I know it. Wearing more fitted clothes me horny. ha ha This blog sux. I keep getting interupted by phone calls...so its all watered down and messy. Fuck off you love it!

Feb 15

Remember what I got for my birthday? My birthday this year was right up there with the birthday I had when my mother busted my lip for popping a fucking balloon. Yes there was blood. Both this birthday and that birthday scarred me for life. So why should I invest in somebody's birthday that contributed to such a horrible time in my life?

We're all good now. But maybe I'm not that over what was done to me. It's so crazy how we are all good until some random reminder just pops up. I'm sorry but birthdays don't do it for me right now.

Four More Weeks

Thats right. Four more f-ing weeks till I go to Costa Rica. I am still very excited and still very scared. Lord it's late. I have work in the morning. But I just had to get a blog in for this weekend because my job is evil and blocked my blog from the network. Assholes.

Anyhoo my good friend from NY(Brooklyn) came to visit for the weekend and we cut up as usual. I had to cus some man out for beeping his horn at us because we were walking on the side of the street. As he drove by us I noticed his window was down and said "PS Its a red light asshole!" And of course it didnt stop there. I continued to walk behind his luxury SUV and kept poppin shit....even as we walked by it. So of course the driver being the big man that he is decided to yell back....when the light turned green...and yes he was driving away. Pussy.

We went to the gym and did the damn thing and cut up in there too. Brooklyn has a finger pointing problem that I had to make him aware of while we were working out. And he wore short shorts and skipped around my gym. Yes...it was a moment.

So Brooklyn told me that a some what mutual friend of ours is sudenly moving in with him. I think its a terrible idea. This person used to be my best friend but turned into a monster when he became my roommate. Our (best)friendship pretty much ended because of us being roommates and I just don't want to see the same thing happen with them. But he is grown...and I will not sabotage somebody elses housing.

We're all entitled to make mistakes.

On a random note I have decided to cut somebody else off. I took him off of my DowneLink and MySpace friends list. Us being friends no longer serves a purpose. I am getting better as far as how "used" I felt not too long ago. Absence doesnt always makes the heart grow fonder. In this case its having a chilling affect. No more dead weight.

If you are reading this and you figured out its you...no hard feelings. But now that we don't share a certain person as a good friend anymore...there is no need for me to tolerate you.



Goodnite.

Countdown

A little over 5 weeks and I will be in Costa Rica. I am scared to death. I have never been out of the country and after seeing that mess go down in Aruba I am going to make sure not to hang out with any sweedish people! lol Mess. But yeah...thats some serious stuff though. I am thinking more about my friends and family here more then I am about myself. If something were to happen to me how would they know? How long would it take for them to find out? Could I just vanish? So many things.

Either way Im still excited to go. I think Im more excited to come back...even though I aint even there yet. I wanna come home and be refreshed.

Im listening to Who is Jill Scott? Damn this CD is good. How did I ever stop listening to this?

New York/Thirsty

This post is actually boring. But I did it for myself so I can come back and remember this weekend. It was nice.

I spent last weekend in NY with a very close friend of mine. We had a very chill laid back weekend with a splash of Diva Dance at the Roxy. I left Boston at 11:30pm on Thursday and got into NY a litte bit before 3:30am Friday. Can I tell you I hauled ass to get that damn 11:30 train! I ran through every station to get to that bus. And for those that don't know I am quite the sweater...I sweat all the time...so imagine me running with bags. Awfull.

So yeah, by the time I got on that bus i realized that I was really thirsty. I started searching for gum or candy in my pockets so I could have something to chew on to build up the saliva in my mouth (dont that sound gross? it works though.) but I found nothing. I started to panic thinking maybe I was gonna die of thirst on the chinatown bus just because i wanted to avoid Friday traffic. I thought about my options and made a few phone calls and mentioned to all parties how thirsty I was. Apparantly nobody cared because they were either getting ready for bed or a club. So I thought about how sometimes when Im really tired and I'll just go to bed thirsty because I was too lazy to get off my bed. So I went to sleep.

I made it to chinatown and took a cab to my friends house in Brooklyn. As soon as I walked into his house I went straight to the fridge....from Boston to the BK with not a lick of fuckin liquids! So yeah...enough about thirst.

Friday was very chill. We chilled around the house all day and had some friends over. I caught up with another good friend of mine and watched Diary of a Mad Black Woman. I have to own that movie now. All I got to say is "Call the Po Po Ho." I love you Kaseem. I don't care how long we don't interact for...everytime we talk or hang out I realize how great of a person you are. Thank you for being "you." ::wink wink::

Saturday was kinda busy. We drove into the city and went into Puma so I could buy a bag. I asked the lady at the register if I could have it and she smiled. I paid for it. After that I chilled with somebody who does GAP commercials. Don't ask. It was late by the time I left the GAP's house and I went to meet up with 2 of my house sisters at Escuelita's. Since I was in the area I visited my BF (yes he went to...but he was with hanging with his peoples...seperate is good...trust me) at his hotel in Times Square. It was more of a check in. I love him so much. ::sigh::

After the check in I went over to meet my sisters. We chilled for about an hour and I realized how tacky and tired that club was. So I left and headed over to the Roxy. I met up with my friend from Brooklyn and some other people. And my BF showed up with his peoples...so we spent a good portion of the night together. Did I mention I love him? Anyhoo I saw a lot of boozing and drug taking in that club. Like...a lot. Im deffinately not Diva Dance material. But I am glad I went and I will most likely go a few more times and never go back. Its a pattern. lol


Anyhoo if you got this far thanks. Im tired of writing......

NY Report Coming Soon.

Nuff' said.

Hold Up!

So I went out last night and had a pretty decent time. I would just like to say that I cannot do the clubs like I used to. I have been grappling with this for sometime...am I getting too old for clubs? Like physically old? I mean with time we are not able to just go on all night because our bodies will be shot. I don't know about you but I plan on making sure I don't get older (especially look) then I have to.

Im not old. And Im not a non club person because I am older. I look at it differently now. And quite frankly I cannot enjoy clubs the way I used to. I used to go to the clubs and feel single sexy and free. Feeling like that brings what seems like an infinit amount of energy. Sexual energy. Aint nothing like sexual energy to keep you on your feet all night. You know what Im talkin' bout!!

So yeah...I can't be single, sexy and free anymore. Please don't ask me why. You should know by now. And if you don't maybe you should ask my boyfriend. I guess the club experience is something I have to sacrifice in order to stay in a relationship. ::sigh:: I did have some sexy moments though. I mean it's wierd cuz Im not one to slut around in clubs. Unless we're out of town...lol No comment! I don't even like dancing with people. I tend to get off by just dancing and being watched. Feels so different now.

I have the "my legs are sore because I didn't know when to stop dancing" feeling. At least my legs dont hurt now as much as they did before. I mean every song was "my song" when I used to club. Now Im selective as to what song I will grace with my smoldering sex appeal. You like that don't you?

Im about to go out this evening to a drag bar by the name of Jacques. My house sister is here on "business," so I have to be the big brother I am and accompany her being that she is a guest in my city.

Hold up!! On a random note...Nina just tried to hump my arm. What kind of fuckin shit is that!? I didn't know female dogs could hump!! She did it 3 times!! The first tims she did it I was confused as to what she was doing. The second time I was in disbeleif and the third time I was appalled. I hope this is normal because Nina is too cute to be a fucking dyke. Ugh.

Baking Powder

For the Waynes World impaired: Baking Powder=Beg Your Pardon?

I was just going over my blogs when I had to laugh at how many spelling and grammatical errors I have. Especially in that G Star post. Lord. Anyhoo..Im at work and I can feel my belly push against my belt. This sudden wieght gain is starting to disgust me. But damn I look good in clothes...out of clothes is a different story. Well..at least for the mid sections. Bleh. Im getting to the point where nice bodies don't turn me on...they make me envious. I can't wait till November.

Emotional

After work I remembered I had to pick up some items at the CVS by my house. It was the same bus ride as usual me and a friend of mine (that works with me) were cutting up on the bus talking about all of the crazy people we have to talk to at work. Which reminds me to make a blog about some of these bama ass people.

Anyhoo after I got off the bus I walked a few steps and I was already in CVS. It was about that time again: time for tooth brush, soap, milk and some other shit. As I was cruising through the aisles looking for various toiletries (and my dairy product) a Sade song came on and I instantly felt emotional. Not because I am sad or anyting like that....I really don't have anything to be emotional about. If anything I have just been pretty bored lately.

Being in the middle of a CVS feeling emotional while smelling deodarants made me really respect Sade even more. The woman is that good that she manages to touch my soul with the sound of her voice. Even through a muffled drugstore stereo speaker. I would most likely sob if I ever met her. The amount of sorrow her music has managed to extract from the core of my being is without description.




Thank you.

So Much To Say (Revised)

Wow. So much has happened in the last month. Yet I know there is much more to come. I dont feel as drained anymore. I feel so much lighter and I have some space/time to think. Things are still far from perfect but this is a start. I still have a few layers to shed.

I am anticipating the end of this year. ::sigh::

So much going on...yet I feel like I am running in place.

I recently ordered some new Pumas and had them delivered to my job. They came with an unexpected gift. A small red key chain that had the Puma logo on one side and an alien on the opposite side. The alien side had a quote on it: Make New Friends.

Very powerful starement. However I am not in the mood for new friends but I do see how that will soon come into play. It gets a little boring at times and I dont want to go back to "old" faces for friendship. Makes me feel desperate. I dont like when old friends show up and want to all of a sudden be my new best friend. Its like...why couldnt you be my friend like this in the first place? Tacky.

Hello?

I wanted to leave a Blog yesterday becaue I had a lot of thoughts going on. But I have loste that magic. Plus I have a nosey ass guest over my house. God bless him. So yeah...Im finally leaving my abusive relationship with Nextel for a more International Traveling relationship with Sprint. Well...its not final yet but its on the works. Yay reception! Winter is coming and I need to be able to talk IN the house. Dammit.

I can hear Nina crying in the pantry. Time to get dressed.